It's okay, I'm fine, really :)

Today I had an emo train ride home.

I had unintentionally caused a female friend to be angry. And I experienced the typical, unfathomable girl behaviour - Suddenly they just go silent. Immediately you know something's amiss, so naturally you'll apologise profusely and all that. But then they'll claim "It's ok, I'm fine, really", further making a point by ending the sentence with an innocent, all-that-almighty smiley :).

But of course, you know something's brewing inside her, awaiting to erupt. Especially if it's your girlfriend. You prepare yourself for the molten lava that floods out faster than you can handle, together with all the historical details as back up, your seemingly mistakes you took she didn't take to heart, even bringing up sesame green peas matters you long presumed the hatchet had been buried. It shocks you the uncountable chapters of events she safekeeps in her brain.

I dislike that feeling. The cleaning up is deplorable and messy; often resulting in squabbles, bickers, black faces and unhappiness that lingers for the whole day, spoiling both your mood and appetite. It even spells on your face.

Earlier I was saying I made a joke too much and made my friend angry. I offered my sincere apologies. She replied with the one liner 'it's ok I'm fine' - the deceptive dangerous wind before the storm.

And that was the reason behind my emo train ride home. Kinda regretted making that bad joke, kept hoping that she doesn't take my words to heart. I was initially affected very much by her reaction cos I don't enjoy offending people, especially my friends.

Later, however, I realised the bigger reason was because there isn't a someone for me to feel emo over.