Realised I haven't posted anything in a month or so. How am I? "I'm good," I'd reply, when asked. Is that the truth? Well, it is, and it is not.
It is because I am gainfully employed and seeing construction works at my project site progress layer by layer, brick by brick, fence by fence - I derive alot of satisfaction and a huge sense of achievement. Apart from work, I'm healthy, enjoying weekly footy, my family is healthy, my kids are happy, I don't think I have much to lament. Last week, crazy me even headed out in hunt of silver coin, in the company of another crazy friend Jx. LOL what were we thinking?! But you know the saying, "bo try bo zai" (aka you'll never know unless you've tried) 😉
On the other hand, work gives me satisfaction as well as it is the contributor towards my "I am not good". The tension with my co-worker is quite unbearable and my strategy lately has been to communicate professionally and avoid social interaction. Which has worked well, to a large extent, but there are moments when she gives very direct comments and questions and they come across as very commanding, which lead me to ponder am I the covering section Head, or am I not? That's something my supervisor did poorly to explicitly lay down before she went on long HL. I'm in a dilemma myself whether I have the authority, or not! Have been toying with the idea of asking to be rotated to a different project / section, on bad days I really want to throw the proposal to my supervisor, just as well our project is at a certain juncture which is a good time to pause / start for a new joiner, but I tell myself I shouldn't quit on a bad day. So on a good day I ask myself the same question if I want to carry on, and the first answer I have is one that sits on the fence but perhaps leaning towards "no"!
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