Organising and completing my Co's annual Charity Event for the industry had been an extremely fruitful and fulfilling experience. It was so successful our efforts were commended by our Digi and many guests.
2 days later - post-event blues kicked in. Felt an in-explainable emptiness and reduced self-esteem at work. It was most weird to be feeling this way coming from someone in my situation - basking in the enjoyment of a beautiful family, weekly soccer, no current financial and health worries and last but not least, a stable job that pays reasonable.
If there was a checklist to grade my situation according to Maslow's HON, I would score full marks for: Physiological needs, Safety needs, Love and belonging; and I would fail terribly at Esteem.
Felt the lowest when at last week's Townhall, elaborate videos and speeches were made about how collective Teamwork, Innovation and Commitment shown by staff helped the Co achieve significant accomplishments and milestones. I was immensely proud of the Co and our achievements. I was happy there are high calibre and responsible staff who strive and who really care. However, at the same time, I felt dejected and gloomy... and didn't feel like I was a valuable member of the organisation. For the longest time, I've always thought that my primary job at my current Division was unimportant and valued lowly. The impact of my projects is minimal and uncommendable. Even during lunch time conversations, the colleagues in my Division speak about high value meetings and projects I don't comprehend, which make me feel that my projects are a drop in the ocean. Honestly, I am all but a ikan bilis in the big blue ocean. Doesn't help that my direct supervisor is not an engaging boss and gives shit about 'team-building' and cultivating a 'sense of belonging'.
So, I actually do enjoy the CCAs that come my way - e.g. charity event that just passed; secretary duties; PD champion; and even AIG performances which despite their non-work nature allowed/allows me to interact and gain mileage with the senior management, more than what my primary job would. I am also involved in the organising of the upcoming AirShow which needless to say I'm excited about.
As for my primary job - decided it's time to move on after somewhat confirming that I won't be the next in line to take over my retiring boss. Requested for a transfer that will officially materialize on 1 Jan 2020. Looking forward to the new challenge! In the meantime, will just casually spend the year-end festive season in the comfort and security of my tall-partition cubicle, far from the madding crowd...
