My baby girls! 😍

2015 vs 2021 (6yo)

2019 vs 2024 (5yo)

Today:

Toys on the dining table? Irritated about it today, will miss it when they grow up... 🥲

Babywyx's 2nd

Cliche as it may sound - in a twinkling of an eye, babywyx is 2 years old! She's offiicially a toddler now! Not sure what the difference is between a toddler and baby, other than the former's air ticket is much more expensive...

Similar to yx's 1st bday, we had a simple, cosy celebration at my parents' place. My siblings took care of the deco which turned out to be really brilliant!

So we decided not to splurge on a $83 Barney cake; instead we got a $43 cartoon cake from Prima Deli topped with our DIY Barney cake toppers!

My wish for you, my little one Yx, is nothing but the most important things you'll need in life - good health and an abundance of happiness and wisdom. Toddlerhood will bring you (and us) more excitement, discovery and adventure! Bring it on, Terrific Twos!

Babywyx and music

When yx saw us singing into the mics, she took over:

And then she started swaying. So cute!

Last month or so, yx started humming songs. First it was a few notes here and there; gradually she began to string them together into an entire song! And she would even be singing a few words correctly.

Today she can hum & half-sing these songs:

- Alphabet song

- Twinkle twinkle little star

- If all the raindrops

- Rain rain go away

- Baby shark

- Happy birthday

- Put on your shoes
- Humpty dumpty
- If you're happy and you know it
- Jesus loves me yes I know
- liang ge xiao wa wa
- nv wa wa
- I'm a little teapot

- the lullaby my mom sings to her (yx pi juan liao, yao shui jiao...)

- the Mandarin train song (hong long long long long, wuu!)

- Wheel on the bus 

- Doraemon theme song

She's learnt so much speech and music the last few months. Now, we are introducing nouns/verbs to her in both English and Mandarin. For example, she knows these in both languages: turtle, bread, ostrich, parrot, dog, cow, milk.

She has finally learnt how to play with this book!

She can also now count to 20!

She still adores Barney; but we learnt that her favourite character from Barney is PJ! Because my parents and sis brought her to the store, and she chose PJ ahead of Baby Bop. 

Her bday is coming up soon and we would really love to buy a Barney themed cake for her!

But this would costs $90! :(

My SAHD week!

Nothing short of enjoyable!!! 

My parents took a week's overseas break to Korea. Wifey's work doesn't allow much flexibility so I cleared my work and took 5 days of Mandatory Block Leave (yes, even in my engineering scope of work we practise corruption prudence) to care for babywyx. Fortunately the week coincides with sis' school term break and she was good company cum chef! 

Sunday:

Monday:

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Friday:

Saturday:

Sunday:

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Really really enjoyed the quality bonding time with babywyx. I think we understand each other alot better now. In the mornings we slept in and woke up at ~10:30am hehehhee. I thought the most challenging part of the day would be getting her to take afternoon naps, for when she's home she's used to latching to zzz; but this week I learnt that my magic arms were able to work the magic still! =D

I'm blessed that my baby girl's a very understanding and patient kid, when we are home she can entertain herself whilst I prep her porridge and do other chores (plus a little bit of TV as distraction); when we are outside she doesn't throw tantrums or create a nuisance, and is very contented just window shopping or taking a bus/car ride. :) It is such a joy watching yx be amazed by the many scenes and sights; such fulfillment when she picks up new words/nouns/sounds; and such heart-warmth walking side by side holding her little hand - I should say this joy, fulfillment and heart-warmth are emotions that only parents can feel and appreciate, and I am very proud to be a father to my babywyx :)

 P/S: I thought yx put on weight this week, and my mom agreed!

When you were this young

It is amazing. Amazing how babywyx at 17 mths is fully capable of communication with us. Well, communicating via her own delivery of speech, gestures and body language to her bestest ability, of course. Her understanding of vocab, nouns and tone increases with every day and also amazes us everyday, too. The way babywyx fixates her attention on you when you speak to her, the intensity of focus her eyes place on you – right away you know she is deciphering your message. At the same time, she is picking up words and sounds to astonishing effect. Sometimes, she has to only see/listen one word once, and the next time you ask her, she will get it correct. 

It is fulfilling. Fulfilling how my baby girl interacts with me, comes to me for hugs, asks me to sit beside her when she wants to play. Fulfilling how she will grab my finger to walk with her when she wants to walk somewhere else, how she steps into my lap when she wants me to read to her. I know Yx feels safe with us when she tears out stickers and chooses to stick them on our clothes. Some afternoons when I want her to nap, I pretend to fall asleep, just so that she will, too. But she is not sleepy cos I open my eyes the slightest and see my baby girl tap me and call out ‘papa’ repeatedly, asking me to play with her. Needless to say, I lose at this game every single time. 

Proudly showing us her sticker exhibit

It is engaging. Engaging when my daughter yearns for our companionship. Are all babies like this, attention craving and seeking for approval? Babywyx likes interaction; when she spots sth she recognizes (e.g. animals, colours), she will call out to us and tell us about it; when she is entertained, she will call out to us and laugh out loud together with us; when she is reading or walking, she seeks our acknowledgement. Yx likes to hide objects under our laps (but still clearly conspicuous) and gestures at us, where is it? We will ask her, where is it, and she will point at the object, uttering “nehhhh” in such an adorable manner.

Her favourite person she wants to read with :)

Babywyx, though you may have your disobedient and unreasonable times (e.g. when you refuse to eat the porridge we painstakingly cook, or when you drink only 20ml of your milk!); though there are many times I look forward to when you are older and we can have proper meals together at proper meal times; though you are the reason your parents are not having late booze nights or travelling overseas as much as we'd like to – 

I know I'm going miss this you. :)

Love, papa.

Babywyx at 17 months

Been awhile since the last noting down of babywyx’s milestones. She turned 17 months young a few days ago!

She started walking independently a few days short of 16 months. It happened overnight; I bumped into my pri school friend a week early and we shared our daughters’ milestones. She recollected that her daughter started walking at 16 months, and only after stepping on a huge, grassy field in Australia. She felt that babies felt safer to pick up their first walks on a large, cushioned ground. Thus, a few days later I tried the same with yx; brought her to a vast open space (albeit cemented). Noticeably, she was more adventurous at walking and did so more confidently. A few trips and loss of footing were inevitable, but through the process yx discovered her newfound freedom! After that day, yx started standing up and walking on her own. Tada, #mythproven!

Other things yx can do at 17 months:

- Runs to mummy when she sees her at the end of the day. Only to mummy!

- Loves food! When we dine at home, wifey and I will take turns to eat so the other can jaga yx. So one day I was playing with yx in the living room and wifey was eating in the kitchen, and then wifey exclaimed that the steamed chicken rice I cooked was “hen2 hao3 chi4!” what happened next was hilarious – yx immediately put down her toy, stood up and dashed to the kitchen to ask mummy for some food. So entertaining! On the same note, yx has a sharp sense of hearing. She can pick out the dog barking from the void deck, the bus arriving at the bus stop downstairs, and the occasional baby cries from a neighbor unit.

- A for “apple”; B for “(ba)nana”; C for “cat/cake”; D for “dog”; M for “mama”; W for “wow” – she answers those words in apostrophes

- Very shy around stranger adults.

- Amazingly understands adult speech. She knows when we are talking about her and she will grin abashedly or snigger sheepishly. Also understands simple questions and instructions, such as “where is your book?”, “do you want to drink milk now?”, “go see who is at the door?” and “who are inside the photograph?”

- Shower time: learnt that after her clothes are removed, she shall take it to the kitchen and dump it in the dirty clothes basket. And it shall be fully inside, not partial hanging over the top of the basket.

- Recognizes many colours! Red, black, white, green, pink, purple, yellow.

- Absolutely still adores Barney. Takes the TV remote control and passes it to us, muttering “Bar, Bar”.

- Beginning to impressively mimic words she picks up, e.g. “yellow”, “red”, “H”, “M”, “duck”, “book”, “tang1”, “yes”, “one”, “nine”.

- Likes to dance? Sways her body from side to side even to Lion Dance drum & cymbals! Also, recently I was singing one of the songs from her fav Barney shows, “Sitting in an airplane, looking out the window, watching the clouds go by…”. To my surprise and amazement, for the last line, she lifted out her hand and swung it slowly from front to the side, JUST LIKE HOW THE KIDS IN BARNEY SHOW DID IT!  I was awed! Hasn’t occurred to me that all the time her eyes were glued to the screen the many times when Barney is being shown, she was actually picking up all these gestures???! Gosh, must avoid showing violence, horror and anything rated above PG…

- Likes to look for us especially when we are in the bathroom. Will open the door, stick her head around the corner and look at what we are doing... o_O if we’re on the throne, she will go “mmm mmm…!”

Continue to amaze us, babywyx J

Babywyx at 14 months

Babywyx just turned 14 months old. 

  

Having her hair cut a few weeks ago

She’s grown so much suddenly; despite not taking her first unassisted steps yet, her learning capacity, physical ability and hand-eye coordination have improved tremendously. A snapshot of what she’s well versed at:

• Loves music – will press toys for music and hop/sway along. Has learnt to strum gently on the ukulele
• Brilliant at directions – able to identify her whereabouts and point in the correct direction at objects
• Obsession with buses – points out and exclaims when she sees one (oh no… future bus otaku??!)
• Insatiable appetite – Wows at pictures/advertisements of food. Wants to eat food within her sight. Will throw tantrum if not given. Will offer her food to “share” with people around her – if you do not respond, she will mumble “umm” for you to do so
• Recognizes her name written in English. Able to identify numbers 1-10 and 75% of the animals on her Parklon playmat. Loves to see us draw – shoves a pen into our hands – Even when I draw ugly unconvincing pictures of dog/butterfly/pig/Minnie mouse – she can identify them! When she sees picture of birthday cake, she will start clapping – a signal for us to sing happy birthday.
• Can stamp her feet and raise her hands along to “If you’re happy and you know it”
• Calls out “papa” to me endearingly. Will hug me or her mama when we pick her up on weekday evenings
• Super cannot sit still – climbing and crawling all over the bed after shower, refusing to lie down still to put on diapers
• Fantastic memory – able to pick up a new word every day. Learnt how to unlock our phones after observing us do it couple of times.
• Words she can mouth – papa, ma (with emphasis, can mean mama/cat), gou (can mean dog / gong gong), ball (can mean ball/po po), a yai yai (ye ye)
• Very sociable and likes young children/baby – will wave at them, go towards them and sayang their head. At home, will whine and signal for us to open up the full length mirror so she can play and interact with her reflection.
• Able to perch her lips together and whistle (not kidding!)

Still absolutely adores Barney…

Milestones at 11 months old

Babywyx is turning 11 months in a few days’ time… how time has flown! In recent weeks she has grown exponentially; with her crawling all over the place, displaying hilarious antics and uttering new sounds. These new ‘entertainment’ to us adults almost seemed to obscure those tiring, confounding newborn days when we would have to guess what is it she wants when she cries. We would have to go through a mental list ranging from milk, soiled diapers, discomfort to crankiness, wind, carrying, womb noises etc to soothe her. Now, baby has developed a routine and thankfully, largely sticks to it. In addition, we are also blessed that she is able to entertain herself on the play-mat with a bunch of toys.

Just to mark down what she is capable of doing now:

- Wave bye

- Repeatedly blowing bubbles using her saliva

- Responds to ‘hao chi zhen mo jiang?’ -> “mmmm”

- Responds to ‘yes sir!’ -> place both hands on her head, apparently a very poor mimic of a hand salute

- Responds to ‘ring ring’ -> places her palm to her ear

- Responds to ‘flying kiss’ -> places her palm to her mouth and holds it there. Kiss but no fly.

- Repeatedly pushing and pulling the legs of chairs and stools

- When the TV screen is blank, she will rotate both wrists to indicate “no more”

- A few TV commercials will catch her attention like magic e.g. Barney, Peppa pig, news introduction, weather forecast music

- Responds to 'tou wai wai' -> tilts her head sideways

 Clinging on to something to stand up

- Recognize a book is upside down and proceed to turn it the other way! *shock shock*

- When lying down, understands when I place my thumb above her head. She will grab my finger and use it to pull herself onto a sitting up posture

- Responds to “dinosaur” -> growls like one
- Responds to "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands" -> claps her hands :D

- Understands “clock” and will turn her head to look for it. Same for “Mickey & Donald”, “liu2 lian2”.

- Always looks to the door when she hears the keys, door being opened or the lift doors.

- Currently, learning how to respond to 'chi bao bao' -> proceed to patting her tummy

Etc...

She's already displaying similarities to Curious George. We think she'll be one cheeky monster. Heh heh...

Our evaluation and choice of baby diapers (size M)

I wonder if I am the first papa to do an evaluation of baby diapers... Anyways, decided to do this for future reference haha. This evaluation is for size M diapers only.

Disclaimer: Tried Mamypoko, Huggies and a korean brand before, but weren't too impressed. Never tried Pampers and Drypers.

When babywyx was younger (size S), we used mainly Mamy Poko. Before we were parents, little did we expect so large differences between diaper brands! Our confinement nanny lauded Mamy Poko and we stuck to it. We tried huggies too but found MP to be more absorbent.

kthxbye.

BB Wonder Weeks

This chart marks out a baby's wonder weeks aka growth spurts so accurately, it's worth saving it for reference!

 (source: unknown) 

Read 'Behaviour' with a pinch of salt though, for every baby's learning and developmental curves differ. But what we experienced is that around the 'wonder week' listed in the left most column, there will be noticeable adjustments to baby's routine and behaviour. For example, babywyx just crossed Leap #6 at week 37 thereabouts. Noticeably during that week or so, she was cranky, very clingy to mommy and was not able to sleep through the night without stirring. After crossing the milestone, she managed to sleep from 11+pm till 7am. This went on for a few days so we are sure!

Happy 9 months! =)

Taiwan with a baby (& other ramblings)

Was informed of some personnel changes at my previous workplace. Honestly, I wasn’t quite surprised by the movement, and I bet my last dollar my previous boss wouldn’t be too pleased that his position is the only stagnant one. Haha. Also found out today that a former working partner is joining Bu$ Plus. A pity we didn’t have a chance to work together, nonetheless I feel happy for his upcoming challenge.

Work is just picking up for me this year. Planned a monthly schedule. Managing projects. well. At the same time, feel grateful for the flexible work-life harmony that my employer provides. Have considered seeking an internal transfer but considering the comfortable environment now I guess I’ll stick around for at least one more year and assess my options along the way.

So Arsenal ended the season piping Tott to 2^nd place on the last day (thank you, Newcastle). Apparently it was Arsenal’s highest position in many many years, but also their least points tally in 4 years. This statistic doesn’t ambush the fact that it was Arsenal’s best chance to win the domestic title, and they only have themselves to blame for it. Oh well, what’s new.

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Have we really been to Taiwan, is a question my wife and I have been asking ourselves. The last we checked, yes we did.

The 5 days felt surreal – every moment our minds were constantly on baby’s well-being hence we didn’t totally feel at ease like we would if on our own. Thankfully baby doesn’t mind sitting inside the baby carrier and can sleep quite well in it (thank you, tula). This made our travelling less taxing except that front-carrying a baby takes away the joy of eating street food. Nonetheless, I am glad I managed to have my customary bbq parson’s nose, smelly toufu, pig blood and ah zong mian xian and overdose of iced milk tea/papaya milkshake. Also discovered a few good stuff like the braised eggs (@tian tian li), goose noodles and dumplings in xmd!

Yay, on board SQ! Pleasantly surprised with the excellent service.

Encountered a few hiccups on the last day. We had planned to shop at wu fen pu, however it poured and we pretty much stayed inside our hotel room. Secondly, felt distraught when we realized we didn’t bring enough milk powder! Had to walk 15 mins to Carrefour to realize they don’t carry Nan Pro (which yx has been consuming since day 1)! Paced up and down before finally deciding on EnfaPro, thankfully baby didn’t reject it phewwww.

Minus the above hiccups, on the whole we didn’t regret making this trip, we really enjoyed the quality bonding time and upgraded ourselves in terms of changing diapers outdoors. Visibly, baby also had a great time as she was goo-goo-gaa-gaa-ing all the time in our cosy hotel room. She behaved like her normal self throughout the plane journey too! Managed to finish a couple of movies and eat meals in peace (whose quality has degraded, sadly for SQ).

My humble travelling tips for parents with a baby (7-8 months old, not mobile yet):<8 her="" mobile="" months="" not="" o:p="" on="" own="" yet="">

1) Pay more for a comfortable hotel (spacious, clean, quiet) that is located within walking distance of the MRT station

Our hotel was situated within xmd shopping area (2 mins walk to MTR). Needless to say, everything was accessible and convenient – Watsons, pharmacy, shopping, restaurants, street food, departmental store etc. Apart from its wonderful location, this hotel was highly recommended by friends due to its age (opened just a few years ago), cleanliness and that it supplies Loccitane toiletries!!!

This is only 40% of the room. babywyx also enjoyed the huge and comfy bed!

The other 40%. Look at that trendy fridge!

When you are traveling with a young one, you would pay a little more for comfort and convenience, and that was what we received. For $221 a night, we requested for the biggest room available. Gosh, were we surprised, for the bed was gigantic (bigger than King size!) and there was even a separate living room area plus an additional sink and smart TV! The latter was ideal as if either of us was using the bathroom, the other could still have access to water (to wash bottles, boil water, change diapers etc). The separate living room proved to be useful too, cos when baby has slept, we relaxed and watched cable and ate supper…

Contrary to its website descriptions, the hotel also provided complimentary breakfast that was really not bad! 3 choices available (Western, Chinese or Japanese).

Enjoying supper in the living room after baby has fallen asleep

2) Don’t skip the solid food

We brought jar food along for the trip. However, baby didn’t really take a liking towards the one on the plane so we thought we’d just feed her milk for the 5 days. Bad idea! Due to the lack of solids, her poop turned watery and mashy and resulted in more trouble cleaning her up. So, our advice is, don’t skip the solid food (or bear the consequences).

3) Don’t be overly ambitious in your daily itinerary

Unless you have super fit, agile and experienced, plan your daily itinerary such that you return to hotel every 3-5 hours. Or perhaps if clean nursing rooms are plentiful outside. We just found it a chore to change nappy outside. When we lay her on changing stations elsewhere, baby can recognize unfamiliar surroundings and would start wailing. Making and feeding her milk was manageable if we find ourselves a good resting spot. Hours of baby wearing toiled on my shoulders and I developed shoulder ache after a few days. So yup, have more rest back in your hotel if you can!

Konked out on the GIGANTIC bed after tiring herself

4) Keep your baby close to your body

Babies garner attention everywhere. In Taiwan, the locals gave praises readily and some attempted to touch/play with baby. Keep your baby close to you (we kept her in the tula always) to make sure you can act/react in time if they try anything funny. Better be safe than sorry, you know.

Babywyx in tula (so that she keeps her limbs to herself, hehe)

5) How to bathe baby?

How to bathe baby without our regular bath tub? We have an inflatable bath tub but it would take up space if the air isn’t fully released when we return. DING DONG DAISO IS THE ANSWER – bought a big tub for just $2 and checked it in our luggage. It is functional, lightweight, comes in a variety of colours and did its job. No more questions.

Enjoying bath time (in the Daiso tub!), meddling with the taps and everything else she can lay her hands on

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Looking forward to our next holiday(s)!

Falling asleep at Week 37

Hopefully it is the ‘Week 37’ growth spurt, for babywyx has been very cranky during her sleep time for the past week. I have always been the one carrying her to sleep since day 29 (after 4 weeks confinement), but suddenly she is all whiny and crying when I coax her to sleep. Once mommy takes over, she quietens down and is able to sleep after awhile.  That day, mommy was bathing and baby was wailing uncontrollably for at least 10 minutes. There was just nothing I could do to distract her.

Yesterday night was quite bad as well. Trust me when I said I have tried EVERYTHING to comfort her to sleep:

• Her favourite ‘magic bear’ which projects cartoon images and belts out soothing lullabies. She would stop crying and fall asleep staring at the revolving cartoon. It felt hypnotic. Switching it on ALWAYS worked. We didn’t call it ‘magic’ for no reason.
• Pacing up and down
• Sprinting around the room
• Hopping on the spot
• Standing below the aircon vent
• Changing carrying posture & position
• Talking in a calm voice asking her to rest
• Repeating the steps above, in another room
• Letting her watch youtube

So yesterday night I was on the verge of giving up and handing baby over to wifey (who was wolfing down her late dinner). Visibly baby was super sleepy cos one moment she was laying her head on my shoulder then another moment she was wincing and whining. In an attempt to drown out her cries, I started singing ‘My Bonnie’ and VOILA – baby suddenly hushed and stared at where the sounds were projected from aka my mouth. 5 seconds later, her head rested on my shoulder. Her eyes were shut. I placed her in the cot after 5 mins. There, I’ve done it.

Strange encounter... Was it due to the song choice, ‘My Bonnie’? Was it due to the frequency? Was it daddy’s soothing singing voice? Haha. Wifey said perhaps she was used to my mom singing to her to sleep.

Anything works, as long as baby sleeps well. 

How babywyx rests her cheeks on daddy's shoulder when falling asleep (taken some time ago).

How's it like being a dad?

So many have asked (or rather it's the best question to start a conversation), how is it like being a first-time dad? Or, how are you coping with fatherhood?

My usual responses hover around the words 'sleep' and 'shag'. Truthfully, losing sleep is just the tip of the iceberg. I think it's difficult to comprehend for singles or couples without children; while they can empathize, I think one can only appreciate the beauty/stresses of parenthood when one has been directly involved.

Or subsumed by it.

Perhaps Jx put it aptly with his witty reply when he was wished good night - there's so such thing as a 'good night' since dd/mm/2014 (the birth date of his baby).

On being a new dad for 2 months, I shall attempt to summarise the apparent differences before baby and after baby. Let me know if you agree with them... Haha.

Confinement ends

So today marks the end of wifey's confinement! 28 days of nutrient rich, yummy confinement food, daily herbal bath, longan dates drinks and minimized contact with water.

We bade farewell to Fang Jie, our CL, with immense gratitude. On her first day she has already impressed us with her experience and updated knowledge, so much so that we felt baby could be entrusted fully under her 24/7 watch.

So on Fang Jie's last day, we gave her our printed group photo as a little momento. She looked pleased to receive it. It is a small gift but our intention is to let her know that we greatly appreciate her help. Being a CL is a noble trade but comes with definite personal sacrifices; Fang Jie's noticeably humped back and wrinkled fingers tell stories of numerous babies she has well brought up and mommies she has nursed to health.

All the best of health, Fang Jie!

Our precious little one - the Welcoming!

It was 1.30am on 12 September 2015 (Saturday morning/Friday night). Wifey was glued to the TV watching the live telecast of the results of GE2015. Results of most GRC/SMC have been announced with clear winners, and perhaps every citizen still awake at this time was impatiently anticipating the results of Aljunied GRC. Sampling hinted that WP edged PAP by only a few % (52% vs 48%). After all the votes were accounted for, the difference between the 2 parties was so small and PAP requested for a recount. I was bored and thought I would turn in, as the results would be all over the press and social media first thing in the morning tomorrow when I wake up. So I said to wifey, "eh, go sleep liao leh, sleep more when we still can!"

Wifey declined as she wasn't sleepy yet (had a nap earlier). So I went to bed first.

----

Half awake in my slumber -
/hears wifey switching on the bedroom a/c and closing door

Some time later, wifey's groans woke me up. I glanced at my bedside clock. 5.38am. Wifey was lying on her side, curled up and clutching her tummy, complaining of great pain.

We weren't really shocked and at a loss - as wifey experienced similar pains for the first time, about 2 weeks ago, also in the wee hours. Reading up had helped - during that incident, we timed the duration of the dips in between the pains and felt it resembled Braxton Hicks aka 'false contractions'. So it turned out that the pains diminished after 15 mins and we confirmed it wasn't labour yet, and we returned to sleep.

So on this morning we did the same and timed the contractions. They came every 5 mins. After one cycle dwindled, I advised wifey to change and we'll head to the hospital, to be safe. We grabbed our ready-to-go pre-packed tote bag and made our way to TMC.

Baby was 39 weeks.

Heng ah, it was like 6am of Saturday morning and there were hardly any vehicles on PIE - we reached TMC in no time. I mentioned to the receptionist that wifey was in labour and they brought a wheelchair over.

Wifey was checked in into the observation room, The nurse examined and claimed wifey was 8cm dilated. 8cm? My first thought was - cannot be so fast leh, you don't want us to opt for epidural issit... nurse prepared wifey while I headed to the counter to do registration. It wasn't more than 10 minutes when I returned to the observation ward, and to my surprise the room was empty - wifey had been forwarded to the delivery ward!!!

Her contractions were now more frequent and intensity increased with time. Everytime the pain rose, wifey used the oxygen mask to relieve the pains -well, if it worked somewhat. I could tell the pain was highly unbearable - her body twitched in response to the tightening of muscles. Her hands grabbed the side of the bed so tightly her hands shivered. It may sound exaggerating but the look of desperation resembled a drug addict trying to wean off drug. I felt so helpless? I imagined the most intense pain I had ever in my life and it was when I had food poisoning at Phuket - it was already extremely, extremely painful for me. But I think wifey was going through much much worse, her friend Hannah who delivered recently described the intensity as menstrual pain x 1000 haha. In fact, it was so tormenting Hannah asked her gynae to forget about natural and just carry on with C-sec.

After n torturous contractions, fist clenching and teeth biting, a nurse finally entered. She checked and claimed the dilation was 8.5cm. She then said very calmly to us, "Okay I am going to call the gynae now," and in my mind I was like WHAT, YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!

The clock ticked so slowly whenever contractions came. The torment lasted for about a minute each, and there were only about 2 minutes in between during which I egged wifey on mentally and urged wifey to recharge.

It wasn't long before our gynae, Dr Wong HF, stepped in. I tell you, his presence was so welcomed... the feeling is like you are stuck in an stressful meeting with your demanding customers who seem to be holding you at gunpoint when suddenly the meeting room door opens and your boss enters the meeting LIKE A BOSS. You get me?! Haha.

He and the nurses propped up her legs and did further checks. Try pushing, he said. It was to no avail. Dr Wong said the baby has not 'come down' and that she's not ready, yet. The water bag has not burst also.

"Use the contractions pain and push," he advised. "Don't fight the pain and tense your muscles as it will only make you lose energy." Dr Wong proceeded to instruct the nurses to put wifey on 30ml drip. Wiping his hands dry and removing the gown, he continued in a most nonchalant tone, "I'll come back later."

....... ermm we newbies leh what do we do now?

The nurses did not linger in the room and left us to be, I assumed it was because there were two other deliveries happening beside our room at the same time. Just about this time, wifey said to me that she could feel the pushing feeling (is there a term for this?). Okay that's some progress... Alas, the contraction pains increased in intensity and wifey couldn't tahan anymore, said she wants epidural. I encouraged her to go au natural but after the next few contractions and seeing her in such excruciating pain and agony, I gave in.

I asked the nurse to administer epi.

"Sir, she's already 9cm, baby already coming out, epidural may not work," explained the nurse. "Besides, it may take more than 30 mins for the doctor (anaesthetist) to come. If by the time the baby has come out, you still need to pay for it (epi) anyway."

HIIIIIIIIEEEEKKKKKKK, the oxygen mask went along with wifey's deep breathing. Wifey was breathing into it like her life depended on it.

We will pay for it regardless, I iterated to the nurse firmly. The nurse succumbed to our pleas. Just as I thought she would start to prepare the dosage, she handed over a piece of pink paper, "Please read and sign this."

It was an indemnity form.

KNNOMGBBQWTF??!! How in the world do you expect a delivering mother to read logically and understand sensibly and actually HOLD A PEN AND SIGN on top of a line?!

I questioned, "MUST SHE READ THIS?!"

"You can read out to her."

..........

FINE. And so I did. The liabilities and indemnities filled up half an A4 paper. I mumbled through the sentences that can be summarised to "na I tell you first ah these are the possible consequences, if anything happen don't say I never say ah!" I was not sure wifey could even hear me amidst the heavy reverberating of the oxygen mask. I am more convinced she was in no state of mind to listen, let only comprehend.

(afternote: I understand you can sign the indemnity form sooner, like as soon as when you're expecting.)

Before I could finish verbalising the indemnities, suddenly the room door swung open. BOSS stepped in. Yayyyy, give us some good news!!

Hmm Boss not very friendly. He looked more serious than the first time he stepped in. Like THIS MEANS BUSINESS. Washed his hands, donned the surgical apron and gloves. Instructed the nurses.

Try to push, he said.

And so wifey did.

We remembered Wong Boh Boi's prenatal lessons on how to deliver a productive push. Chin to chest, lean slightly forward, husband to support mother's back - this will channel the most energy to the required muscles. No screaming or cursing your husband, she had forewarned. Wifey gave another couple of pushes.

Can see the hair already, one of the nurses gestured. So fast?

Now, the sight of blood does not usually freak me out but before today, I had already prepared myself that during delivery, I will stay beside wifey and will prefer not to view the awakening from Dr's POV. Have heard of a friend who watched in full blossom and another who even video-ed the process of the birth of his son. WHAT THE... So anyway, I imagined my baby's crowning and some hair but I'm fine with where I am, thank you very much haha.

Guiding wifey along with a few more pushes, I was preparing mentally for the Dr or nurses to shout "STOPPP!" During one of the prenatal class, Wong BB made sure to run through this drill a few times to make sure it was instilled in the dads and moms' memory. When you hear the instruction to stop, it will mean that 3/4 of the baby's head has emerged. Immediately, daddy has to remind mommy to change the breathing method from 'deep' to 'shallow' (pant pant pant). A very vital instruction to stop mommy from pushing - it may lead to severe tear of the opening of the orifice (can you tell I'm trying v hard to not sound gross) and the baby will 'fly' out! At this juncture, Dr will have very little time to check if the umbilical cord is in the way of the final push, and act quickly. If not done speedily, it could lead to suffocation.

And so I was waiting for the golden word (STOP) but it never came. Instead, they shouted "wait wait wait". Hmmm... What do I make of this.... But Dr and nurses seemed to suddenly focus on doing something down there so I tapped wifey, "okay, pant pant pant." Wifey followed - not sure it was because she heard me or because she was tired from the previous pushes, haha.

I think I was right - wait wait wait was the golden instruction. Dr said calmly (gosh how they manage to stay so calm) that baby must not stay in this position for too long, push again. Thus, I supported wifey's back and guided her to push again. Two pushes later, Dr stood up and placed a soiled, squealing being on wifey's stomach.

I WOULD NEVER EVER FORGET THIS SIGHT. Awww little baby! She was small. Had some hair on her head. Big eyes. Little one was wailing in cutesy gasps, finding herself foreign, unfamiliar and insecure. Her head was surprisingly tilted upwards, in the direction of mommy. Her big eyes were fixated intently on mommy, seeming to express "hello mommy, I'm out!" =)

I teared. Won't deny that this was a most touching sight - my feelings were a saturation of overjoy, ecstacy, gratification and relief! =)))) I hugged wifey, who looked super exhausted now. Look at baby, she's looking at you! Wifey mustered a smile and said she was so spent, she couldn't even move her neck. You've done so well! =)

Dr motioned for me to cut the umbilical cord. I took over the scissors and snipped it. It took just one second and I backed off nervously. Sorry, not interested to observe what will be done next and after, haha...

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Still crying in cute short gasps, little one was picked up by the nurse and carried over to a preparation pad. It had a heating element hanging overhead and a real-time body temperature monitoring system.

The nurse cleaned baby up while I snapped many photos of this amazing creature lying in front of me, its eyes squinted and moving its limbs curiously. It was a peculiar feeling - she felt unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time. 9 months of talking to her through a round tummy and out of a sudden, 2D ultrasound printouts are transformed into a wailing, heart-beating, limbs-extending baby!

Amazing, amazed, amazement!!!

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Wifey was admitted 6.30am and successfully delivered baby two hours later. Compared to most first timers (Joanne Peh had a 16 hour labour, for the record), wifey's ordeal is considered damn fast. What could have contributed to the quick delivery?

Wifey's pregnancy regime:
- Fortnightly swim
- Young coconut juice every 3 days during the last trimester
- 3 squats on the eve

Well, nothing extraordinary... perhaps we were blessed :)

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By default, our next two nights were spent in TMC. We opted for a single bed room to enjoy the privacy and also because I could spend the night there too. The room was well furbished and comfortable; meals were delectable and variety of TV programmes were more than sufficient to keep us occupied. But I have to save the best praises for the team of nurses at TMC who were patient, polite and served us with genuine care and provided us newbies much needed advice on newborn care. To name a few who deserve a huge pat on their back:

- Elle (staff nurse at delivery ward)
- Yusia
- Carol
- Stella

Thank you so much!

=)

Here's baby at day 3, in her bedroom where she'll  ive strong, grow healthy and share happy memories for a long time :)

a 4-day old new dad

At T-1 week:

• Prepping the nursery - tick
• Attending theory and practical lessons - tick
• Reading up the generous sharings by interest groups - tick
• Buying waterproof cot protector, bath tub, miscellaneous items - tick
• Booking confinement nanny and 'jamu' masseur - tick

-

Then baby arrived! 

Hi mommy, I feel clean now after changing nappy, hehe

Prior, we thought we were ready and just playing the waiting game. But when baby is finally in our arms... we felt so helpless! Unfamiliar with how to handle/carry a newborn - how to change diapers - how to swaddle - how to latch on - the list goes on. It feels as if you have studied all the theory but suddenly when you find yourself needing to hands-on in a chemistry lab - and the theory comes to naught. Fortunately, TMC offers really great service and child care. The newborns are placed in a nursery where general care and injections are given, and they are brought over to their mommies every 3 hours for feeding. When you are done, just press the red button and the nurse will return the newborns to the nursery. No worries about shower, dirty nappy or crying baby! XD

- 

We stayed in hospital for 2 nights. Meals were served. Bedsheets were changed. Bathroom was cleaned. Heck, there was even HBO HD on TV. I joked that actually the stay feels like a staycation! However on the day of discharge, we felt like we were thrown into the ocean to survive by ourselves. Who's gonna change dirty nappies? Shower her? Coax crying baby? Do we figure out bf all by ourselves? 

Fortunately, we had hired a CL. She was of such great help we felt baby will be in very good hands. PHEW~~ we need more transition time, less steep learning curve.

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Friends who advise you to attend all the lessons on prenatal, delivery and childcare you can. However, I feel that the majority of the content focuses on what the mother should do, what to expect, how to care for the kid. The education lacks emphasis on the other parent aka dad... here are my humble Paternal tips, from a 4-day old new dad:

1. Be a pillar of strength for your wife, both physically and mentally

Your wife is extremely exhausted. Immensely. Imagine being in labour for so long and going through all the torment and excruciating pain for HOURS? After delivery, she needs to minimize activity and rest in bed. Feeding baby every 3 hours (if on bf) is definitely be physically taxing and draining for her. Undesired post-natal blues may kick in and add on to mommy's stress and depression. 

During this time, as a new dad you need to be the brains, hands and legs for 3. 

Think of what you need to do and plan ahead, so you don't get flustered when things happen. Be a SNAG. Be sensitive and provide emotional support towards your wife. She will be struggling with latching, and may even find routine tasks like walking and bowel movements challenging. Assure she is doing great job, hug her often, offer to run errands. Be a pillar of support so your wife knows you are reliable and can be counted on. Offer her massages for her shoulders and arms and she will appreciate you more :)

So, keep yourself healthy and fit. I took Vit C supplements almost daily for the last 6 months and I must say the immunity boost really helped.

WARNING: Do not comment negatively on your wife's physical appearance/figure or how haggard she may look.

2. Book CL and Jamu masseur early

Side tip - know your acronyms and technical jargons =)

CL - Confinement Lady
Jamu - Traditional Malay massage (said to help mom detox and regain figure)
LC - Lactation Consultant
Bf - Breastfeed
EDD - Expected Delivery Date
Episiotomy, epidural, mucus plug, colostrum, etc etc.

Please, please book your CL and jamu early. That's of course if you have decided on hiring their services. I booked my CL about 6 months in advance and jamu about 3. You may book the latter later as jamu typically lasts for 7-10 days and hence the availability of jamu may be more flexible.

CL

I am all hands up for getting a CL. A full time CL. If your mom or in-law wants to help, make sure they are full time and not part time basis. Reason is because as new parents, you have a very steep learning curve and you definitely need a lao jiao to hands on.

You can opt for word of mouth, friend recommendations or forums; or if you are more kiasee, you can always go for more professional and credible CL via establishments and agencies like Thomson Medical and PEM. Freelancers are more affordable (based on 3 quotations for 2015, it is $2,500 for 28 days). Most are Malaysian aunties in their 40s or 50s.

How to decide whether the CL is for you:

- What is included in their scope of work? Does she do night feed, cooking for dad included, washing of whose clothes? Better ones are those who will sleep with baby in the same room and only brings baby to mommy if baby is hungry.
- Pro bf or pro formula? If you decide to bf, you may not like it if CL keeps discouraging you against it.
- Years of experience
- Converse over the phone with her. Like an interview, you can get quite a good sense of the person when you are in a conversation with her. Of course, do an online search to look out for other's opinions, past history and whether the CL has any quirks or habits.

Side tips:
- Once you confirm with the CL, she may ask for a 20% deposit. If you don't, they are likely to take up another sincere offer - you will then have to face a last minute rush to engage another CL
- Bet you didn't know - a Work Permit is required to engage the services of a CL. Apply for one via MOM website (pre-requisites apply).
- Take note that Malaysians are not allowed to stay for extended periods in Sg. They have a 60/90 day rule which states they must be in M'sia for not less than 1 month within a 3-month period (please correct me if I am wrong). This may disrupt their schedule. Clarify with them when it is nearer your baby's EDD so you avoid any inconvenience (bet you didn't know v.2).

Jamu masseur

The malay lady will do a house vist and massage mommy's tummy area with medicine/herbs. Each session is about an hour to an hour half. Thereafter, mommy will be wrapped up tightly in an oily film, and is expected to wear it for an extended duration (e.g. half a day?). The tightness is said to help the womb recover, for the body to absorb the herbs and firm up the tummy area. Medical professionals advise that jamu is not necessary but if you do, only engage reliable masseurs. And heed that their medicine are not clinically proven and must not be ingested.

I engaged mine via my friend's, JX, recommendation. That JX has regained her figure quite quickly is the best living testimony!

3. Be prepared to spend - more than you expect

As soon as you are planning for a baby, you may begin researching for recommended gynae, hospital charges, room rates and doctor's fees. The comparison of every G and private hospitals can be readily found online. Undoubtedly, G is more affordable but the belief is that private doctors offer more personalized and professional help. As a guide, for natural birth and default two-night stay at TMC, our bill amounted to about $6k+. Epidural will cost about $800 more. Fortunately, you may use Medisave to reduce the total bill by up to $2k.

A list of the huge ticket items:
- Hospital bill = $7,000 (before Medisave of $2k) (may go up to $10-$12k if Caesarean delivery is required)
- CL = $2,500
- Jamu = $500-$700
- Stroller = $200-$400
- Car baby seat = $100-$200
- Baby cot = $400
- Breast pump, sterilizer, milk bottles etc = $350
- Confinement food for 28 days = $1,200-$1,800
- Disposables and miscellaneous (diapers, rash cream, extra swaddling blankets, baby shampoo etc) = $????

Have not added in future possible costs like post delivery check ups, paediatrician fees, medical bills, insurance costs etc. Due to confinement and additional occupant, expect your water and electricity bills to spike in the first month.

Edit: Asian babies are more prone to jaundice. For a 3d2n treatment, there are 2 options available. Hospitalization at a private hospital will cost $1,800 whilst rental of the Blilbeds (with UV rays) cost $500.

Side tip: For payment of hospital bill, scheme and use the best credit card that gives you the best rebates/cashback/air miles. The returns may be substantial. Before delivery, ensure your credit card has a high credit limit; else call in to request beforehand.

Side tip 2: Free diaper samples can be requested online!

4. Expect differing opinions, manage expectations

Birth of a newborn - cute as a kitten, tiny as a tinkerbell. Naturally, your parents and in-laws will be super duper excited, especially if it's their first grandchild. What follows is that all of them including yourself will want the best care for the newborn and mommy... with differing views and opinions on carrying a baby, jaundice treatment, type of confinement food, confinement dos and donts... Haha, not to forget your CL will instill her own set of proven practices as well! More often than not, they will be vastly different from the theory you picked up from antenatal lessons you paid a hundred $ for.

I would suggest to be open-minded and adopt a flexible mindset haha... for myself I opt to trust my CL. The less you know, the better haha. It's the CL's rice bowl and she has brought up so many babies as a matter of fact; so even if some practices are not 'by right', they won't be detrimental la... as the hokkien saying goes, lap sap jiak, lak sap tua.

Lastly, manage the expectations of your parents and in-laws, ask for their understanding and trust. That said, you and your siblings were brought up well by your parents anyway; listen to their hand-me-down tips and you may be surprised they can be very valuable!

5. Leave your full time job aside

Refer to point 1. When you are the brains, hands and legs for 3, the last thing you want on your mind is to be bogged down by work emails and calls. Ask your colls for help, delegate tasks. Else, work can always wait. Right?


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Hope you found the above tips handy! =)

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Next post - the arrival of our baby!!