Word

Pick my battles 😏

Resilience can be trained

Came across this article:

https://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/the-secret-formula-for-resilience

Key takeaways:

If you are lucky enough to never experience any sort of adversity, we won’t know how resilient you are. It’s only when you’re faced with obstacles, stress, and other environmental threats that resilience, or the lack of it, emerges: Do you succumb or do you surmount?

...change their explanatory styles from internal to external (“Bad events aren’t my fault”), from global to specific (“This is one narrow thing rather than a massive indication that something is wrong with my life”), and from permanent to impermanent (“I can change the situation, rather than assuming it’s fixed”) made them more psychologically successful and less prone to depression. The same goes for locus of control: not only is a more internal locus tied to perceiving less stress and performing better but changing your locus from external to internal leads to positive changes in both psychological well-being and objective work performance. The cognitive skills that underpin resilience, then, seem like they can indeed be learned over time, creating resilience where there was none.

My 10 year working anniversary

6 July 2009. The day I reported to my first day of work.

That morning, I woke up excitedly. Applied gel on my hair. Put on my 'lucky shirt' - the same purple striped shirt I put on for the interview that got me this job (fun fact - the shirt still hangs in my wardrobe!). Asked the reception for directions to the NBR Meeting Room where I'd meet the other 16 MTs. Acquainted with our 'mothers', LK and Jenny.

Brought up to the Board Room. LK asked that we introduce ourselves. The next few seconds were silence and anticipation. Suddenly, like a thunder shattering from the sky, boomed this girl's voice, "MAYBE I'LL GO FIRST? I'M NIKKI, FROM SMU." (Yeah it's in purposely in caps because that was how she really sounded!) Turned out that this girl was the only one from SMU - what a stark difference from the other local unis! And that started the ball rolling.

Was expecting a day of sit-down briefings and orientation. It was quite the contrary. Boy, wasn't quite prepared for the intensity! Had to do on-the-spur group discussion and presentations, such as this:

Learnt that if you turn up in a tie when the others do not, you're immediately appointed the Group Leader. ;)

The orientation lasted a week. Over the next few days, we were taught to recognise the senior management's faces and their names; the different BUs of the Organization and their functions; orientated ourselves in NBR; acquainted with a list of acronyms. On the last day, we found ourselves at a team-building facility in Ulu Sembawang (which is no longer present). Lots of memories and fun there!

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The entire 18 months of the MT journey was most rewarding, and most fun. Grateful for the training and opportunities given. 

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So 10 years had passed, in a twinkling of an eye... 10 years saw me change employer once, did a few overseas work trips, made countless friends and colleagues, learnt from the best leaders and mentors, grown in my capacity as a professional as well as an engineer. I often reflect back on the many significant lessons encountered, to realise how the obstacles I faced, the difficult people I needed to work with, the disappointments that knocked me back - though they were all challenges but they were constructive forces that had positively shaped my behaviour and thinking. Today, I count my blessings that I am working for an organisation that offers comfortable remuneration and a healthy work-life balance. :)

On 12 Jul 2019, we managed to gather half the batch for a dinner at Raffles City. Here's a group photo at the iconic NBR building, where we all started... It was a great time reminiscing and laughing at our shared experiences, and heartening to know everyone's doing fine! :)

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If I could share my humble advice, here are my 5 tips for a fresh graduate:

1) Be a sponge. Be humble and learn from everyone. Embrace the fact that longer hours may be required for you to do your job well.

2) First impressions count very much. Speak well, be confident. Ace every presentation opportunity given.

3) Observe the successful and/or influential people at work. Why are they so good at what they do, what are the common traits? Learn to emulate.

4) Anticipate questions, anticipate what could go wrong in your work - and make plans in advance to address them. 

5) If you're comfortable in your job, you're not learning. Get out of it. 

Maiden corporate emceeing experience

Was approached to take up the emcee role for an annual TEDx event. I took it up readily as it has always been one of the things I'd like to try out.

My first corporate emceeing experience was at a relatively small scale event; the number of audience was less than 80 and the auditorium was cosy and the stage lights were not glaring or daunting. The setup was relaxed and graced by a D I was comfortable with. Nonetheless, first impressions count and I made sure I put in time and effort to rehearse :)

19 Aug 2018

Happy that it went well, I didn't sound nervous and didn't do funny gestures. Though I realised I tended to stand on one leg on a few occasions, this is one of the areas I need to avoid in future!


Tips for Emceeing:

- Speak slowly. It will make you sound very coherent and your words will not come out minced and slurred
- Maintain a smile
- Upright posture. Shoulders pulled back, chest out, both feet shoulder width apart and firmly on the ground.
- Use plenty of eye contact with the audience. The best is if you can find a couple of faces in the audience who give you positive feedback (e.g. warm smile, head nodding), positive body language translates that you are doing a great job and they are engaged in your delivery
- Your script should only be used as reference for your talking points. When you refer, refrain from reading and speaking at the same time. Here's what you should do - Look down at your script only after you have finished your sentence. Take a quick glance of the para, raise your head, then speak again.
- Always turn up 45 mins before the event starts. This will allow you sufficient time to test the PA, get yourself comfortable with the physical environment, acquaint yourself with the guest speakers etc.
- When introducing anyone, give eye contact to the same person
- Be mentally prepared for last minute changes to the programme (e.g. guest needs to leave midway, tea refreshment is delayed etc)
- Very useful to have a wide range of adjectives that may come in useful
- Practise, practise and practise!!!

Money saving tips

Hi guys, I admit I'm not the most financially savvy guy you know, but I do have more than sufficient knowledge to engage in an intellectual kopitiam talk.

Sharing some tips to make the most of your money!


1) Supplementary Retirement Scheme (SRS) 

Did you know, other than bearing children and topping up CPF for self/dependents, there are other ways to reduce your personal income tax? SRS is such a gem! Thanks for my old friend CT for sharing with me (he had vested interest though), I signed up for it and saved not a meagre amount in tax payable!

Find out your total chargeable income, which is your total earned income less deductibles and reliefs:

Source: https://www.iras.gov.sg/irashome/Individuals/Locals/Working-Out-Your-Taxes/Income-Tax-Rates/

A few illustrations:

Scenario 1)

Your total chargeable income is $40k-$80k.

If you invest $10k into SRS, you save $10k x 7% = $700!


Scenario 2)

Your total chargeable income is $80k-$120k.

If you invest $10k into SRS, you save $10k x 11.5% = $1,150!


Scenario 3) 

Your total chargeable income is $91,000. Say you did not put money into SRS. Your tax payable (refer to 4th row of the Table above) is $4,615 which is made up of:

- First $80k - $3,350; and
- Next $40k - $11k x 11.5% = $1,265.

However, should you have transferred $12,000 into SRS, immediately your taxable income ($91,000 - $12,000 = $79,000) would have been downgraded to the next lower bracket! Your tax payable (refer to 3rd row of Table) would have been  $3,280:

- First $40k - $550; and
- Next $40k - $39k x 7% = $2730.

So you would have achieved cash savings of $4,615 - $3,280 = $1,335! No questions asked!


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The above illustrations show that the more you earn, the more savings SRS provides. Sounds very good right? But like anywhere else, take free sample and give freebie also must have a limit right?

a) The maximum amount per year one can deposit in SRS is $15,300.

b) Well, of course the SG Gahmen doesn't give free lunch (with the SG Savings Bonds a surprising exception); there is penalty for withdrawing the money before 62 yo; and even if you withdraw after 62, you can't withdraw 100% overnight. Do read up and find out more on SRS (https://www.iras.gov.sg/irashome/Schemes/Individuals/Supplementary-Retirement-Scheme--SRS-/).

c) And some may argue the opportunity cost of locking in that amount of money is very high. Say one buys REIT stocks with $15k, the returns p.a. are estimated 5-8% = $750 - $1200. Well, good news for you - you may use your SRS money to buy stocks and unit trusts, and also endowment plans! So I think the only disadvantage of locking in your money in SRS is if you need significant cash in the mid to long term? E.g. changing car, purchasing 2nd property, starting a biz etc.



2) Keep a repertoire of Credit Cards handy - always!

Illustration: the overrated Passion Card

When I paid $12 to sign up for a 5-year Passion Card membership some years ago, it was only for 1 benefit in mind - it gives you $1 off KFC chicken set meals. Considering I need only 2 years or less to eat 12 KFC meals, it was an economic decision.
<2 12="" a="" at="" ause="" card="" centres="" community="" courses="" does="" eat="" economic="" for="" how="" is="" kfc="" know="" lame...="" like="" often="" one="" otherwise="" p="" passion="" purchase.="" quite="" sign="" this="" times="" to="" up="" was="" years="" you="">
But anyway my Passion Card is the POSB-linked one, so it's just in my wallet as it doubles as my ATM cum Ez-link card. And anyway last weekend we dined at Sakae Sushi, I was footng the bill when the cashier asked if I had Passion Card. I flashed it and YES I GOT $10 off my final bill!!!! Before discounts my bill was like $48, so the discount worked out to be like 21% off WOW!? Yes, #dontsaybojio, flash your Passion Card at Sakae Sushi and enjoy $10 discount with min. spending of $40 before taxes and charges.


Signing off for now,
the giam siap Singaporean uncle

Tips from recent courses

Attended back to back courses in early Sep which took me off work for a week. The good thing I like about my current job is that I really get to attend training and courses frequently. On the other hand, at my previous job I was kinda obliged, if I may use this word, to be working in the office/depot as there were meetings almost everyday; and when there was none, it was the best time for me to do some ground work and clear the outstanding red flags in my email inbox. So, yup, I really appreciate my current manageable work schedule (and employer's generosity!) which allow me to attend courses regularly.

Just to note down the applicable knowledge I picked up during the recent courses:

Leadership

Potentials P1-4
Applying managerial types S1-4


Giving feedback

AID - Action, Impact, Desired Outcome
e.g. "When you did xxx during xxx, it caused the group to feel xxx... May I suggest that you xxx?"


Minutes writing

- "shared", "informed", "updated"; not "shared that", "informed that", "updated that" (grammatically wrong!)


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"You can develop a reputation for being good at:
1) something you don't like;
2) something you don't know about; and
3) something whose component essential to the job you are bad at."

How to cure a cut on your tongue

Wordfth are comming outth oth my tongue in stutthers todhay, as ifth I have a shortz tongue – Thankth to the blood clot at ze tipth ofth my tongue.

There’s nothing terrible when you accidentally bite your tongue whilst you’re chewing your food (or in my case, chewing and talking at the same time), but it is when the blood hasn’t stopped flowing after 2 minutes. I was happily joycefully gracefully devouring and savouring my panfried chicken on the bone when I noticed that the bone came out from my mouth bloodier and bloodier with every chomp. Haha.

After 20 mins and I had finished my meal, washed up and rinsed my mouth, and I could still taste the blood in my mouth. Checked in the mirror – I think I could pass off as a vampire who just finished his meal, less the fangs.

Asked magic mom for a remedy. She passed me half teaspoon of sugar to apply onto the wound. I was skeptical about its effectiveness but mom sounded confident. And so I applied sugar on the cut. After a couple of minutes, the blood clotted. Heh! 

But the cut was a rather deep one, for the clot formed a conspicuous lump at the tip of my tongue. My speech and mastication were affected as well.

Sugar/condensed milk to stop blood clot? What’s the science behind it?

So I googled and learnt that apparently, sugar forms a substance with saliva and causes a blockage, hence facilitating blood to clot. It is also believed that sugar promotes saliva secretion, and saliva boasts its own healing funtions. Sugar also has anti-bacterial properties (unbelievable!) which prevents infections. 

Home remedies from elder generations? Priceless and handy.

P/S: I remember when we were young, when we bit our tongue or our teeth fell out, mom would apply condensed milk. Miraculously, the blood would stop and we would be smiling soon after (happiness derived more from ingestion of sugar, I presume).

Taiwan with a baby (& other ramblings)

Was informed of some personnel changes at my previous workplace. Honestly, I wasn’t quite surprised by the movement, and I bet my last dollar my previous boss wouldn’t be too pleased that his position is the only stagnant one. Haha. Also found out today that a former working partner is joining Bu$ Plus. A pity we didn’t have a chance to work together, nonetheless I feel happy for his upcoming challenge.

Work is just picking up for me this year. Planned a monthly schedule. Managing projects. well. At the same time, feel grateful for the flexible work-life harmony that my employer provides. Have considered seeking an internal transfer but considering the comfortable environment now I guess I’ll stick around for at least one more year and assess my options along the way.

So Arsenal ended the season piping Tott to 2^nd place on the last day (thank you, Newcastle). Apparently it was Arsenal’s highest position in many many years, but also their least points tally in 4 years. This statistic doesn’t ambush the fact that it was Arsenal’s best chance to win the domestic title, and they only have themselves to blame for it. Oh well, what’s new.

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Have we really been to Taiwan, is a question my wife and I have been asking ourselves. The last we checked, yes we did.

The 5 days felt surreal – every moment our minds were constantly on baby’s well-being hence we didn’t totally feel at ease like we would if on our own. Thankfully baby doesn’t mind sitting inside the baby carrier and can sleep quite well in it (thank you, tula). This made our travelling less taxing except that front-carrying a baby takes away the joy of eating street food. Nonetheless, I am glad I managed to have my customary bbq parson’s nose, smelly toufu, pig blood and ah zong mian xian and overdose of iced milk tea/papaya milkshake. Also discovered a few good stuff like the braised eggs (@tian tian li), goose noodles and dumplings in xmd!

Yay, on board SQ! Pleasantly surprised with the excellent service.

Encountered a few hiccups on the last day. We had planned to shop at wu fen pu, however it poured and we pretty much stayed inside our hotel room. Secondly, felt distraught when we realized we didn’t bring enough milk powder! Had to walk 15 mins to Carrefour to realize they don’t carry Nan Pro (which yx has been consuming since day 1)! Paced up and down before finally deciding on EnfaPro, thankfully baby didn’t reject it phewwww.

Minus the above hiccups, on the whole we didn’t regret making this trip, we really enjoyed the quality bonding time and upgraded ourselves in terms of changing diapers outdoors. Visibly, baby also had a great time as she was goo-goo-gaa-gaa-ing all the time in our cosy hotel room. She behaved like her normal self throughout the plane journey too! Managed to finish a couple of movies and eat meals in peace (whose quality has degraded, sadly for SQ).

My humble travelling tips for parents with a baby (7-8 months old, not mobile yet):<8 her="" mobile="" months="" not="" o:p="" on="" own="" yet="">

1) Pay more for a comfortable hotel (spacious, clean, quiet) that is located within walking distance of the MRT station

Our hotel was situated within xmd shopping area (2 mins walk to MTR). Needless to say, everything was accessible and convenient – Watsons, pharmacy, shopping, restaurants, street food, departmental store etc. Apart from its wonderful location, this hotel was highly recommended by friends due to its age (opened just a few years ago), cleanliness and that it supplies Loccitane toiletries!!!

This is only 40% of the room. babywyx also enjoyed the huge and comfy bed!

The other 40%. Look at that trendy fridge!

When you are traveling with a young one, you would pay a little more for comfort and convenience, and that was what we received. For $221 a night, we requested for the biggest room available. Gosh, were we surprised, for the bed was gigantic (bigger than King size!) and there was even a separate living room area plus an additional sink and smart TV! The latter was ideal as if either of us was using the bathroom, the other could still have access to water (to wash bottles, boil water, change diapers etc). The separate living room proved to be useful too, cos when baby has slept, we relaxed and watched cable and ate supper…

Contrary to its website descriptions, the hotel also provided complimentary breakfast that was really not bad! 3 choices available (Western, Chinese or Japanese).

Enjoying supper in the living room after baby has fallen asleep

2) Don’t skip the solid food

We brought jar food along for the trip. However, baby didn’t really take a liking towards the one on the plane so we thought we’d just feed her milk for the 5 days. Bad idea! Due to the lack of solids, her poop turned watery and mashy and resulted in more trouble cleaning her up. So, our advice is, don’t skip the solid food (or bear the consequences).

3) Don’t be overly ambitious in your daily itinerary

Unless you have super fit, agile and experienced, plan your daily itinerary such that you return to hotel every 3-5 hours. Or perhaps if clean nursing rooms are plentiful outside. We just found it a chore to change nappy outside. When we lay her on changing stations elsewhere, baby can recognize unfamiliar surroundings and would start wailing. Making and feeding her milk was manageable if we find ourselves a good resting spot. Hours of baby wearing toiled on my shoulders and I developed shoulder ache after a few days. So yup, have more rest back in your hotel if you can!

Konked out on the GIGANTIC bed after tiring herself

4) Keep your baby close to your body

Babies garner attention everywhere. In Taiwan, the locals gave praises readily and some attempted to touch/play with baby. Keep your baby close to you (we kept her in the tula always) to make sure you can act/react in time if they try anything funny. Better be safe than sorry, you know.

Babywyx in tula (so that she keeps her limbs to herself, hehe)

5) How to bathe baby?

How to bathe baby without our regular bath tub? We have an inflatable bath tub but it would take up space if the air isn’t fully released when we return. DING DONG DAISO IS THE ANSWER – bought a big tub for just $2 and checked it in our luggage. It is functional, lightweight, comes in a variety of colours and did its job. No more questions.

Enjoying bath time (in the Daiso tub!), meddling with the taps and everything else she can lay her hands on

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Looking forward to our next holiday(s)!

What to say when the interviewer asks, “Why should we hire you?”

Source: www.businessinsider.com

#1. “You want to convey that not only are you a safe choice with minimal risk – but also a great choice”

#2. One useful technique is to have 3 major points in mind on why you’re an excellent choice.

1) Listen for real-time cues

a. Know your USP

b. What makes you particularly qualified for the job among your peers

c. How does your unique background align with their mission

2) Focus on key points

a. Offer the big picture – background of yourself e.g. applicable skills, training or education

b. Discuss your accomplishments

c. Communicate that you have excellent people skills – e.g. team player, low turnover

3)  Prove you’d be a great investment

a. Give tangible results e.g. reduce expenses, streamline processes, develop new programs, secure new contracts

4) Be enthusiastic

a. Illustrate that you’re genuinely motivated and want the job

5) Be as specific, but brief, as possible

Advice

From Michael Pang, a six sigma trainer:

Adversity Quotient – how resilient you are, how composed you are under different situations.

Always be curious and inquisitive. Create surprises. 

Example – sending a new year greeting.

Be proactive, create chances for yourself. How do you distinguish yourself from the others? The CEO does not go out and spot talents. 

Example – volunteer to head projects; speak up during meetings.

All companies only have 1 problem – to improve top line and reduce bottom line.

Always check:

1) The amount displayed on the credit card bill before you sign it. $29.90 is just one click of a button wrong from $299.00.

2) Your monthly utilities bills. Why would your household of 2 be using twice as much electricity or water than the average household?

3) Your IRAS NOA. Why no SG50 rebate?

Complacency may lead you to trust the e-system 100%, or placing mistakenly high trust in the cashier keying in the credit card amount; and you could be paying more than you need to - unknowingly.

True stories!!!

How's it like being a dad?

So many have asked (or rather it's the best question to start a conversation), how is it like being a first-time dad? Or, how are you coping with fatherhood?

My usual responses hover around the words 'sleep' and 'shag'. Truthfully, losing sleep is just the tip of the iceberg. I think it's difficult to comprehend for singles or couples without children; while they can empathize, I think one can only appreciate the beauty/stresses of parenthood when one has been directly involved.

Or subsumed by it.

Perhaps Jx put it aptly with his witty reply when he was wished good night - there's so such thing as a 'good night' since dd/mm/2014 (the birth date of his baby).

On being a new dad for 2 months, I shall attempt to summarise the apparent differences before baby and after baby. Let me know if you agree with them... Haha.

a 4-day old new dad

At T-1 week:

• Prepping the nursery - tick
• Attending theory and practical lessons - tick
• Reading up the generous sharings by interest groups - tick
• Buying waterproof cot protector, bath tub, miscellaneous items - tick
• Booking confinement nanny and 'jamu' masseur - tick

-

Then baby arrived! 

Hi mommy, I feel clean now after changing nappy, hehe

Prior, we thought we were ready and just playing the waiting game. But when baby is finally in our arms... we felt so helpless! Unfamiliar with how to handle/carry a newborn - how to change diapers - how to swaddle - how to latch on - the list goes on. It feels as if you have studied all the theory but suddenly when you find yourself needing to hands-on in a chemistry lab - and the theory comes to naught. Fortunately, TMC offers really great service and child care. The newborns are placed in a nursery where general care and injections are given, and they are brought over to their mommies every 3 hours for feeding. When you are done, just press the red button and the nurse will return the newborns to the nursery. No worries about shower, dirty nappy or crying baby! XD

- 

We stayed in hospital for 2 nights. Meals were served. Bedsheets were changed. Bathroom was cleaned. Heck, there was even HBO HD on TV. I joked that actually the stay feels like a staycation! However on the day of discharge, we felt like we were thrown into the ocean to survive by ourselves. Who's gonna change dirty nappies? Shower her? Coax crying baby? Do we figure out bf all by ourselves? 

Fortunately, we had hired a CL. She was of such great help we felt baby will be in very good hands. PHEW~~ we need more transition time, less steep learning curve.

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Friends who advise you to attend all the lessons on prenatal, delivery and childcare you can. However, I feel that the majority of the content focuses on what the mother should do, what to expect, how to care for the kid. The education lacks emphasis on the other parent aka dad... here are my humble Paternal tips, from a 4-day old new dad:

1. Be a pillar of strength for your wife, both physically and mentally

Your wife is extremely exhausted. Immensely. Imagine being in labour for so long and going through all the torment and excruciating pain for HOURS? After delivery, she needs to minimize activity and rest in bed. Feeding baby every 3 hours (if on bf) is definitely be physically taxing and draining for her. Undesired post-natal blues may kick in and add on to mommy's stress and depression. 

During this time, as a new dad you need to be the brains, hands and legs for 3. 

Think of what you need to do and plan ahead, so you don't get flustered when things happen. Be a SNAG. Be sensitive and provide emotional support towards your wife. She will be struggling with latching, and may even find routine tasks like walking and bowel movements challenging. Assure she is doing great job, hug her often, offer to run errands. Be a pillar of support so your wife knows you are reliable and can be counted on. Offer her massages for her shoulders and arms and she will appreciate you more :)

So, keep yourself healthy and fit. I took Vit C supplements almost daily for the last 6 months and I must say the immunity boost really helped.

WARNING: Do not comment negatively on your wife's physical appearance/figure or how haggard she may look.

2. Book CL and Jamu masseur early

Side tip - know your acronyms and technical jargons =)

CL - Confinement Lady
Jamu - Traditional Malay massage (said to help mom detox and regain figure)
LC - Lactation Consultant
Bf - Breastfeed
EDD - Expected Delivery Date
Episiotomy, epidural, mucus plug, colostrum, etc etc.

Please, please book your CL and jamu early. That's of course if you have decided on hiring their services. I booked my CL about 6 months in advance and jamu about 3. You may book the latter later as jamu typically lasts for 7-10 days and hence the availability of jamu may be more flexible.

CL

I am all hands up for getting a CL. A full time CL. If your mom or in-law wants to help, make sure they are full time and not part time basis. Reason is because as new parents, you have a very steep learning curve and you definitely need a lao jiao to hands on.

You can opt for word of mouth, friend recommendations or forums; or if you are more kiasee, you can always go for more professional and credible CL via establishments and agencies like Thomson Medical and PEM. Freelancers are more affordable (based on 3 quotations for 2015, it is $2,500 for 28 days). Most are Malaysian aunties in their 40s or 50s.

How to decide whether the CL is for you:

- What is included in their scope of work? Does she do night feed, cooking for dad included, washing of whose clothes? Better ones are those who will sleep with baby in the same room and only brings baby to mommy if baby is hungry.
- Pro bf or pro formula? If you decide to bf, you may not like it if CL keeps discouraging you against it.
- Years of experience
- Converse over the phone with her. Like an interview, you can get quite a good sense of the person when you are in a conversation with her. Of course, do an online search to look out for other's opinions, past history and whether the CL has any quirks or habits.

Side tips:
- Once you confirm with the CL, she may ask for a 20% deposit. If you don't, they are likely to take up another sincere offer - you will then have to face a last minute rush to engage another CL
- Bet you didn't know - a Work Permit is required to engage the services of a CL. Apply for one via MOM website (pre-requisites apply).
- Take note that Malaysians are not allowed to stay for extended periods in Sg. They have a 60/90 day rule which states they must be in M'sia for not less than 1 month within a 3-month period (please correct me if I am wrong). This may disrupt their schedule. Clarify with them when it is nearer your baby's EDD so you avoid any inconvenience (bet you didn't know v.2).

Jamu masseur

The malay lady will do a house vist and massage mommy's tummy area with medicine/herbs. Each session is about an hour to an hour half. Thereafter, mommy will be wrapped up tightly in an oily film, and is expected to wear it for an extended duration (e.g. half a day?). The tightness is said to help the womb recover, for the body to absorb the herbs and firm up the tummy area. Medical professionals advise that jamu is not necessary but if you do, only engage reliable masseurs. And heed that their medicine are not clinically proven and must not be ingested.

I engaged mine via my friend's, JX, recommendation. That JX has regained her figure quite quickly is the best living testimony!

3. Be prepared to spend - more than you expect

As soon as you are planning for a baby, you may begin researching for recommended gynae, hospital charges, room rates and doctor's fees. The comparison of every G and private hospitals can be readily found online. Undoubtedly, G is more affordable but the belief is that private doctors offer more personalized and professional help. As a guide, for natural birth and default two-night stay at TMC, our bill amounted to about $6k+. Epidural will cost about $800 more. Fortunately, you may use Medisave to reduce the total bill by up to $2k.

A list of the huge ticket items:
- Hospital bill = $7,000 (before Medisave of $2k) (may go up to $10-$12k if Caesarean delivery is required)
- CL = $2,500
- Jamu = $500-$700
- Stroller = $200-$400
- Car baby seat = $100-$200
- Baby cot = $400
- Breast pump, sterilizer, milk bottles etc = $350
- Confinement food for 28 days = $1,200-$1,800
- Disposables and miscellaneous (diapers, rash cream, extra swaddling blankets, baby shampoo etc) = $????

Have not added in future possible costs like post delivery check ups, paediatrician fees, medical bills, insurance costs etc. Due to confinement and additional occupant, expect your water and electricity bills to spike in the first month.

Edit: Asian babies are more prone to jaundice. For a 3d2n treatment, there are 2 options available. Hospitalization at a private hospital will cost $1,800 whilst rental of the Blilbeds (with UV rays) cost $500.

Side tip: For payment of hospital bill, scheme and use the best credit card that gives you the best rebates/cashback/air miles. The returns may be substantial. Before delivery, ensure your credit card has a high credit limit; else call in to request beforehand.

Side tip 2: Free diaper samples can be requested online!

4. Expect differing opinions, manage expectations

Birth of a newborn - cute as a kitten, tiny as a tinkerbell. Naturally, your parents and in-laws will be super duper excited, especially if it's their first grandchild. What follows is that all of them including yourself will want the best care for the newborn and mommy... with differing views and opinions on carrying a baby, jaundice treatment, type of confinement food, confinement dos and donts... Haha, not to forget your CL will instill her own set of proven practices as well! More often than not, they will be vastly different from the theory you picked up from antenatal lessons you paid a hundred $ for.

I would suggest to be open-minded and adopt a flexible mindset haha... for myself I opt to trust my CL. The less you know, the better haha. It's the CL's rice bowl and she has brought up so many babies as a matter of fact; so even if some practices are not 'by right', they won't be detrimental la... as the hokkien saying goes, lap sap jiak, lak sap tua.

Lastly, manage the expectations of your parents and in-laws, ask for their understanding and trust. That said, you and your siblings were brought up well by your parents anyway; listen to their hand-me-down tips and you may be surprised they can be very valuable!

5. Leave your full time job aside

Refer to point 1. When you are the brains, hands and legs for 3, the last thing you want on your mind is to be bogged down by work emails and calls. Ask your colls for help, delegate tasks. Else, work can always wait. Right?


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Hope you found the above tips handy! =)

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Next post - the arrival of our baby!!

Tips on giving appraisal

Tips on giving appraisal

• Establish an informal, unhurried atmosphere
• Praise and encourage
• Probe and listen
• Give time to talk
• Focus on performance, not personality
• Use positive language
• Encourage self appraisal
• No surprises
• Structure the interview

o   Rapport building

o   Opening the discussion

o   Performance areas

o   Themes and conclusions

o   Training/development

o   Actions

o   Is the appraise satisfied

o   Focus on the facts

• Agree measurable target
• Set review dates

Week -5

This was our first glimpse of baby, in January. Baby was just over a month old and measured 12.2mm.

And baby is at 35 weeks now and weighing 2.4kg, and roughly the size of a canary melon (as adorably described by the app). Baby is pretty active, moving much and at times causing discomfort to mommy when she presses on her bladder. Since last week, mommy finally succumbed to drinking coffee after like 8 months (claps claps) and the caffeine explicably results in more activity from baby, haha.

We learnt from Wong Boh Boi’s classes to speak in proper words and sentences to babies as they are able to understand. On the other hand, baby language e.g. goo-goo and gaa-gaa does not communicate. Research confirms that babies are very sensitive to sounds and are even able to recognise voices and clanging of keys, Dr. Wong advised parents should talk to baby about our day on top of wishing good morning and good night.

So in order to guide baby to full-term of 40 weeks, we have been rather diligently feeding mommy with young coconut juice every 3 days. Heard from other moms yesterday that coconut juice also helps to cleanse the placenta so baby will come out ‘cleaner’. Mommy and baby gets the benefits while daddy gets to eat the sweet meat, so why not heheh. But we need to prepare ourselves for delivery at 38 weeks as it is a very common timeline. Just need to spruce up the nursery a lil’ bit and we’re good J

Hmm as new parents we certainly will miss our peaceful times in our cosy home and spontaneous outings, but we are also looking forward to welcoming a cutie baby to take care of. We pray that our baby will have a manageable temperament, like not waking up so often at night, able to sleep with light environmental sounds and have a chirpy nature. We'll take good care of baby and please allow daddy and mommy some social and rewinding time as well kk…

We’ll see you in a few weeks, Ying Xi. J Grow well and be healthy!

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Here's sharing some massage techniques:

Arm and hand massage:
1) Indian massage up, indian massage down
2) Swedish massage up, Swedish massage down
3) Rolling pin
4) Y-shape palm press

5) Grab finger, wriggle and pull
6) Flat press on nail
7) Side press on nail
8) Fingers interlocked, wriggle and pull
9) Rotate shoulders

Back massage:
1) Neck hairline press
2) Move down 8 to 2 inches below shoulder blade, 2 inches apart. Press. Knead.
3) Upper arm press
4) Thumb down the spine to pelvic line. Press to relieve backache

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Tips

PPTS
- People
- Process
- Technology
- Structure

How to succeed in your business:

• Established network
• Mastery
• Trustworthiness
• Reliable suppliers
• Be on your toes

A day of unemployment

Today jx commented that tomorrow, both of us are considered 'unemployed'. Though that's not really true as we are contracted to start work on a later date.

I deliberately took a day off tomorrow (Monday) before starting work officially for some reasons. Primarily I planned to take a rest after the trip to KL and secondly also because I expected most people to be at their busiest on the first day of the week and wouldn't have time to orientate me around. And a few days ago I shared with my wife that I wanted to construct and formulate in my mind how I should start my first day of work. Which makes sense. Making a good first impression goes a long way.

So just to share some pointers (source: http://www.businessinsider.sg/what-to-do-your-first-day-of-work-2014-2/#.VNetDeaUd8E):

1. Prepare and ask questions. 

2. Prepare an elevator pitch. 
3. Show up early. 

4. Figure out the social landscape.

5. Relax. 

6. Smile. 

7. Look and play the part. 

8. Don’t be shy.

9. Don’t try too hard. 

10. Don’t turn down lunch. 

11. Listen and observe. 

12. Pay attention to how decisions are made. 

13. Talk to peers. 

14. Project high energy. 

15. Learn the professional rules. 

16. Put your cell phone on silent. 

17. Show interest. 

18. Pay attention to your body language. 

19. Be yourself. 

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Good luck to myself!

quotes

"成功的人做的东西比别人多"

- anonymous mentor

"Most importantly is you must live an honest life. 

Forgiveness is an act of will, regardless of the temperature of the heart."

-woman with a big heart

Key takeaways

Had the privilege to attend a really inspiring talk this afternoon, by a very confident, assuring and far-sighted individual who delivered his speech simple, well-paced and in a calming manner. His ideas were straightforward, easy to remember and apply and most importantly, they were impactful and inspirational. Many were awed and bought over by his calm and steady delivery, his key messages seemed to ingrain in our hearts instantaneously. With a clear vision and bright future envisioned, I sincerely hope this will forge a stronger team striving towards greater achievements because "only with a crisis do we learn - there is no better way to create a better opportunity".

And my key takeaways:

The 3 levels of sure-ness:

Be Sure - for self
Ensure - for the organization
Assure - for customers and public perception

How to achieve our goals:

• Service
• Unity
• Responsibility
• Excellence

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Random pic:

The most shocking advice, but... damn true

Said a particular influential lady, "You are only as good as your last performance."

How stunning a fact - acute, sharp, piercing truth. Almost blood-curdling and cold. Stabbing. Capable of paralysing a guilty party within a millisecond.

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I learnt more about myself recently. I eat to destress.

Heh, here's sharing a funny pic.



Cheerios, everyone.
Make every performance a good one.