It's been more than a decade since I last paid respects to my ancestors during Qing Ming, and thought of paying Grandma a visit too, so I took a day's leave and unknowingly spent a pleasant 14 hours with my parents.
We set off at 5.30am from Tampines and reached Rengam in record time at ~7.20am?? There was no jam whatsoever at both sides of the causeway and it was a fantastically smooth drive. Rengam was, as I fondly remember of my parents' hometown, beautifully calm, serene and peaceful. We had breakfast at uncle's home while catching up with one another on the usual topics hovering around holidays recent and near-future, food (OF COURSE) and status of old friends and neighbours. It was very entertaining listening and observing their banter and harmless mockery, haha. We set off for the cemetery at 9am.
Qing Ming:
Was I rather surprised the offerings had watered down substantially... in my recollection there would be many bags comprising a whole chicken/duck and roast pork, steamed buns, fruits, rice and kueh and 3D model of a house / car. Today there was only fruits and wine and incense papers and joss sticks. What was once soil and gravel that made the path leading into the cemetery has been replaced with tarmac (done in 2024 according to my uncle); the antenna tower that I recounted as a landmark for my great-grandparents' graves had been demolished a few years ago.
First stop - my paternal great grandparents. The siblings and everyone chipped in with the set up and burning of offerings.
A few contributed eye power, a few continued to talk about their holidays and how easy Google maps has made navigation overseas. We learnt my great-grans passed away in 1947 and 1948 so none of them had seen their grandparents before.
Weather was brilliant and kind on us. Second stop - my paternal grandfather.
No pictures at 3rd and last stop which were graves of my grand-uncle and uncle (who passed away when he was 3yo due to sickness, he was 3 years older than Auntie Wai Pang).
After shower and more chatting, as per customs all of us had a sit down lunch together, this time at Ocean restoran at Simpang Rengam.
Visiting Grandma:
😢 Poor grandma must be feeling so ill and weak and lonely :( She looks vastly different from barely a month ago when we visited her at the senior care centre. So grandma had low BP last Thurs and was admitted to hospital. From what uncle and auntie updated, grandma had blood transfusion and received injections thereafter to relieve her pain. She's been sleeping alot and speaking illogically. Today, Grandma couldn't quite recognise us and even retorted "我不相信！“ to my dad when he introduced himself. She questioned where and why she was at the hospital. Though she could speak and also asked if I took leave today, grandma was visibly weak and didn't budge her body except for her straining of neck when speaking and tapping of her right hand on the bed. :( I can't be sure whether her weakness was due to the medication or due to her liquid diet (grandma can't eat lately) but the sight of her current state is certainly very depressing... :(😭 I felt extremely helpless and a cruel sense of relief when the security officer chased us away as visiting hours was up...
Errands in Kluang:
We spent the rest of the day leisurely as my parents and I don't have anything planned. Today my parents gave me the feeling they were very relaxed, which is atypical of them when they're back home. We circled twice in search of a bicycle shop (which wasnt open), detoured to Botak Laksa (which my dad ate at when he was in sec sch), shopped at a supermarket, sat down for a drink at Old Town coffee, and stopped by to get eggs from a wholesaler.
Finally, we returned to Rengam for a short rest and left for JB. Dinner was at 千里香 which specialises in Hakka cuisine. The hakka ytf and pork soup were delightful and we ordered seconds!
After the satisfying dinner, we returned to SG. There was no jam at causeway on both sides at 7:50pm!
I had a wonderful time with my parents and relatives. It's been a few years since I've been in their company as a group, and I am glad nothing has changed. As for grandma, NGL we are not optimistic of her condition and I only wish and pray for her suffering to be alleviated.
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