It's the time of the year again...

to reflect on your year!

Keep calm and keep bloggin'

Tata commented we didn’t change a bit!

That’s music to the ears, haha. But all of us did la, I’m very sure of that! My face used to near flawless, but now laugh lines appear when I ever grimace slightly. /sigh

So after Fab’s wedding banquet I was walking out when I suddenly saw a familiar face that registered in my long term memory – and so did she. We exchanged ‘hi’s. Curiously, both of us know we knew each other from Uni (which is like >6 years ago), but don’t remember how exactly! I asked for her name, hoping it’d aid my recollection, only to have her reply that I bo sim -_-…  Anyway, during our conversation whose main topic was on how fun holidaying in Europe is, she mentioned she read my blog recently and is pretty updated on my new daddy lifestyle. Just before we bade farewell, she asked for my name too… -_-''''

Ahaha. Thanks wor, someone actually complimented my writing! :D

Sometimes I wonder who else follows my blog, other than the few whom I know do... Laughably, even my buddies don't read my blog! Haha. I like to catch up on friends’ blogs too, but frequently updated ones are a couple only (Jingxy, Ivan)… and though Xia-xue’s blog url is still under the ‘favourites’ widget on the right column of my blog, I haven’t been following her since post-nose surgery. 

Perhaps with the modern convenience and accessibility of fb and instagram, ranting or sharing interesting reads/photos have taken over the desire to pen down one's thoughts in a blog. But I prefer blogging leh... find it more personal and expressive? Blogspot's archive and labels functions make it easier to search your previous posts, too. I have this dream that when I am retired and old, I will make myself comfortable on the porch/balcony overlooking calm scenery (e.g. beach, sea, greenery, padi field, mountain valley), sipping tea and reminisce my blog posts, diaries I penned when I was in primary school, and other childish stuff currently collecting dust inside my drawers. That's the reason why I'm stubborn on keeping them, my dear wifey, HAHA. 

Keep calm and keep blogging ya!

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Editor's input: Oh, but I did kpo selectively on XiaX's blog, specifically about the alleged defaming of a fellow blogger and the distasteful stinktel marketing saga in 2014? That was a real eye-opener.

Why can butches strut down Orchard Road and do not garner any more attention than other passer-bys, but gays who cross-dress are scrutinized from head to toe to nail colour?

Do butches prefer to be addressed as ‘miss’ or ‘mr’? I am worried I'll offend any if mistaken by their dressing and/or haircut...

Pass on a good deed!

I was more than very happy in my previous job. Yes I clocked countless OT hours and needed to incessantly read and follow up on the beeping SMS and whatsapp msgs after office hours; but the fulfillment gained from my job provided the energy and motivation and kept me in the hot seat for a few years. And I was proud that my last held position was one where I could exert a significant amount of command and influence.

As much as possible, the BU heeded the G’s preaching to allow older workers to work beyond their retirement age.  However, they must fulfill a few criteria – which I shan’t disclose here, but you should know they are of course transparent and fair.  Rehiring retired workers has been a practice for many years already.

Once, we were reviewing a few technicians who were reaching 62 years old later in the year.  As all of them could fulfill the criteria set out by the company, we were more than happy to rehire them. However, one of them does not hold a SG citizenship/PR and I was advised that there would be difficulty to extend his Work Permit. The exact words to me were “not possible, we tried writing in to (the respective agency) before many times for previous technicians, but not successful”.

I wasn’t gonna be fazed by that comment. First question I posed to the supervisor – do you want his services? Yes was the reply.

And so I requested HR to send in an application to (the respective agency) to extend the technician’s WP. Different from previous appeals was that this time, it was appended with my personalized letter.

Two weeks later, I was informed that the technician’s WP was extended, and HR could follow up with the necessary paperwork to rehire him. The supervisor, who earlier said it wasn’t possible, was beaming when he thanked me. It was the first successful case and would set the precedence for future applications.

My pleasure, it was the minimal I could have done. When I moved on some 18 months later, the technician was still gainfully employed. :)

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Outside of my own job scope, I was a beneficiary of a kind deed from a station staff in 2010/2011.

So what happened was that one day I was on my way home when I dropped my bunch of keys into a drain outside Tampines MRT station. The drain was deep and the metal grilles couldn’t be lifted without the use of tools. I was seriously distraught. Without the keys I couldn’t unlock my bicycle which was parked there, and worse – where in the world could I find a metal cutter to free my bicycle?

Dejected and at a loss, I approached the station staff for help. Ms Faridah was the staff on duty. Upon hearing my plight, she put aside her work and went into the staff office. To my amazement, she came out armed with a long crowbar and with it, removed the grille in no time. The drain was dark and musky and at least a metre deep. I volunteered to climb in to retrieve my keys but Ms Faridah ushered me aside and promptly climbed in without hesitation! I was stunned like vegetable! Sticking to the daunting task, she quickly grabbed the keys and hopped out nimbly from the drain – with soiled hands, dirtied elbows and my keys intact. You could imagine the joy and relief that overcame me at that moment, the feeling was akin to someone returning your lost wallet or mobile phone you thought you’d never see again. But Ms Faridah was not done yet, together with another passer-by, the three of us heaved and slotted the heavy grille back into its original position. Phew! I thanked her profusely for doing such a great favour beyond her call of duty.

The next day at around the same time, I was tapping out from the train station and noticed Ms Faridah was on duty. Coincidentally she also saw me, recognised me and we exchanged a smile. Her personal touch prompted me to write a letter of appreciation to her Mgr to express my heartfelt gratitude.

I never knew if my appreciation reached Ms Faridah at all – until many months later, in Oct 2011, I was invited to attend the National Courtesy Awards ceremony. Ms Faridah was just one out of three ‘Kindness Champions’ (and the only one from $MRT) from a total of 316 recipients! Helping me retrieve my keys wasn't an isolated kind deed Ms Faridah had done; she had been a consistent excellent service provider and received numerous compliments! During the ceremony, the personal experience from yours truly was given a special mention from none other than Mr. Lui Tuck Yew himself:

Ms Faridah Bte Salim, a Customer Service Leader from SMRT Trains, is well-liked by many commuters for the countless times she has gone to their rescue. On one occasion, Faridah went beyond the call of duty to help a passenger retrieve his keys from the drain. The drain which was located outside the stations boundaries, was deep and dirty but Faridah was unfazed. She stepped into the drain and successfully retrieved the passenger's keys. It is because of such selfless acts, her consistent customer first attitude, and her willingness to go the extra mile that has won her the hearts of many appreciative customers. 

(Source: http://www.mot.gov.sg/News-Centre/News/2011/Opening-Address-By-Mr-Lui-Tuck-Yew-At-The-National-Courtesy-Awards---Transport-Gold-On-18-October/)

See also:

As for Ms Faridah, she did not mind getting her hands dirty to help a stranger. When Mr Eric Ng dropped his keys into a filthy drain covered by a heavy metal grille, Ms Faridah took the trouble of finding appropriate tools to help lift the grille, and stepped into the drain to help recover the keys. She then proceeded to use her bare hands to replace the grille over the drain.

(Source: http://kindness.sg/blog/2011/10/19/upping-transport-service-standards/)

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Be generous with your compliments, pass on a good deed every time you can! You'll never know how much goodness your kind actions will generate and multiply :)

Always check:

1) The amount displayed on the credit card bill before you sign it. $29.90 is just one click of a button wrong from $299.00.

2) Your monthly utilities bills. Why would your household of 2 be using twice as much electricity or water than the average household?

3) Your IRAS NOA. Why no SG50 rebate?

Complacency may lead you to trust the e-system 100%, or placing mistakenly high trust in the cashier keying in the credit card amount; and you could be paying more than you need to - unknowingly.

True stories!!!

Maintenance statistics

So the preliminary investigation of QZ8501 crash was disclosed a few days ago, 12 months after the fateful Airasia flight from Surabaya to Singapore went down into the Java Sea.

The cause of the accident was highlighted as a congruence of technical fault and lack of pilot training.

(A) Technical fault

The Rudder Throttle Limiter (RTL) is a component which operates the rudder of the plane. Records retrieved from the black box revealed that it failed 4 times during the fateful flight. The pilots managed to resolve the issue during the first 3 occurrences. However, on the 4^th, one of them breached protocol and manually reset the RTL by disconnecting the relay. The electrical circuits broke and resulted in the plane carrying out a 6 deg/sec left roll (whereas a ‘safe’ roll is 2-3 deg/sec). Both pilots quickly tried to level the plane but did not immediately notice that it was ascending. Awhile later, one pilot alerted to the other to bring the plane down; however the instruction was overlooked. Unable to ascend any further, the plane then stalled and plunged into the ocean, killing all 167.

The investigation also uncovered gross under-maintenance issues. Horrifying was that the RTL had been reported faulty a staggering 23 times over the last 12 months! Details such as the break down of the exact faults and rectifications are not disclosed yet, but this shocking discovery raises many eyebrows of Airasia’s maintenance regime and standards.

(B) Inadequate pilot training

One of the pilots was a former Airforce pilot. Apparently, Airasia admitted that both pilots did not undergo emergency procedural training (can’t recall the term for it) as they felt there is no likelihood of the occurrence of such emergencies. Not sure what other flight operators opine of this. Unfortunately, the decision made by the pilot to troubleshoot the RTL by taking matters into this own hands (pun intended) was a severe lapse of the individual.

-----------------------------

This investigation does nothing to alleviate the pain, sorrow and heartaches of the immediate families affected but I hope it at least provides them with a reason... or a closure to their endless whys.

In addition, I hope this incident serves a wake-up call to all MRO companies to critically review their maintenance regime and not be complacent.

23 times in 12 months? By any standards that is too striking a statistic, let alone from a critical component and for a flight operator! IMO, this incident merely uncovered the tip of an iceberg of the incalculable, dormant ‘timebombs’ of all MRO operations. I am a serious advocate for an independent, third-party analysis for all MRO operations. The analysis must be conducted CHC – comprehensively and holistically and continuously. Before any analysis can be done, there must be a reliable system which allows maintenance records to be logged, documented and tabled. And of course, there’s no way that maintenance activities can be logged down by themselves… an awful amount of investment has to be put into technical skillsets training.

Half-joked to wifey that perhaps, just perhaps, I could consider the path of a MRO consultant...

Wah, December liao ah....

(and time for the yearly review...)

This is da bombzzzzzzzzzzz

Courtesy of Magic Mom!

A revisit of my archives

A few nights ago I had difficulty sleeping. It was 2.40am and I had just coaxed baby to sleep. Bored from the typical insta and Fb newsfeeds, I randomly clicked on my blog archives to check out what happened in my life in October 2011.

If I hadn’t been lying on my side whilst reading my phone, I think my jaw would have dropped when reading back on this ‘fortune’ dream I had:

Spook or coincidence?

Both events came out to be true. WOW. I’m very awed.

Now, I’d be even more stoked if any of my vivid dreams flash back as deja vus in reality. #dejavu

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Anyway, I wouldn’t have been ready to sleep after that exciting find. Hence I went on to revisit more blog posts in 2011… and came to realise that my lifestyle has so transformed? Back then I was involved in various activities – conquer of Mt. Kinabalu, outings with club and other friends; while being gainfully employed at work. I would like to think I led quite an enriching lifestyle – massively engaged at work and spending sufficient time spent with family, friends and myself (explained by the 10-14 blog posts per month in Sep-Nov 2011). I also noticed that my writing style during that period was reflective – penning down after-thoughts, course takeaways and life lessons. Comparatively nowadays, I am contributing less blog posts (but maybe more in fb, idk). My life now revolves around family and baby. Any 2-hr venture to a mall is a notable event by itself. But not that I’m complaining – growing up with a baby and witnessing her every firsts is a joyful process! Anyway, I think I should blog more often. Life passes by too quickly. Heck, it’s already end November! Reading back on my life happenings allows me to be grateful of the activities I’ve taken part in, the friends I socialized with, the life lessons and realizations made, and how my life has transformed...

Sad fact: I'm getting older.

炸酱面 Zha jiang mian

Cooking keeps me sane, I replied to wifey, who asked whether I found it mundane to be stuck at home with (terrifying) baby.

True enough, I found myself to be more experimental with recipes AB (After Baby). Perhaps because dining outside is no longer viable, having wider variety of food for dinner matters.

So I was regretfully stuffing myself with the most distasteful “tom yum soup” during lunch today when a sudden craving for zha jiang mian developed. I googled for ‘zha jiang mian recipe’ and found there are various menus… some with edamame, some with white cabbage - I guess the difference is the place of origin of China? Like there are different styles of hotpot in China as well. Also perhaps zha jiang mian is like fried rice you know, you just dump anything left in the fridge. Thus my mind browsed through my sparsely equipped fridge at home…

Noodles yes, onions/ginger yes, minced pork yes, spicy bean paste yes, mushrooms YES!!

All that was needed were some carrots and Japanese cucumbers/zucchini – readily available from the NTUC at the basement of my work place! And so, zha jiang mian it was for dinner!

炸酱面 - Colourful and yummy one-dish meal

Pretty simple dish, only 1 wok and one cooking style required. The most tedious step, however, was the julienning of carrots and zucchini. I learnt a new word too – julienne. It is the method of cutting into thin slices. To save time, I did this whilst cooking the noodles in boiling water.

Ingredients (serves 2 hungry adults with a newborn):

- ¼ big onion and 2 pcs garlic (finely chopped)

- Sliced ginger

- 200g minced pork

- 1 cube tofu (diced)

- 3 pcs dried mushrooms (soaked 20 mins in hot water)

- Noodles (I used Barilla spaghetti, but feel free to use any noodles of your liking)

- 1 med carrot

- 1 med zucchini

- 6 teaspoon minced bean paste (any brand la)

- ½ bowl water

- 2 teaspoon corn starch

- Sesame oil
- Garnishing (spring onion and coriander), pepper, red chilli

Method:

1) Cook noodles in boiling water. In the meantime, julienne carrots and zucchini.

2) Remove noodles when done. Put carrots into the boiling water for 1 min (ignore this step if you like your carrots crunchy).

3) Fry onion and garlic in hot oil until fragrant. Add ginger, minced pork and mushrooms and stir fry.

4) When minced pork turns slightly grey, add spicy minced bean paste, tofu, sesame oil and water

5) Continue stirring until mixture boils. Add corn starch, coriander and pepper. If you like spicy, add chilli padi. Stir well.

6) Ready to serve! Garnish with spring onion or red chilli. 

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I took about 60 mins for the entire preparation. Wifey was awed by the dish layout. We enjoyed the dish cos of the party of different flavours and textures. Plus baby didn't bother us during that 30-40 mins. Mmmm!!!

Guess X'mas is round the corner! :)

Nice?

How's it like being a dad?

So many have asked (or rather it's the best question to start a conversation), how is it like being a first-time dad? Or, how are you coping with fatherhood?

My usual responses hover around the words 'sleep' and 'shag'. Truthfully, losing sleep is just the tip of the iceberg. I think it's difficult to comprehend for singles or couples without children; while they can empathize, I think one can only appreciate the beauty/stresses of parenthood when one has been directly involved.

Or subsumed by it.

Perhaps Jx put it aptly with his witty reply when he was wished good night - there's so such thing as a 'good night' since dd/mm/2014 (the birth date of his baby).

On being a new dad for 2 months, I shall attempt to summarise the apparent differences before baby and after baby. Let me know if you agree with them... Haha.

Air dog

Terrible haze.
Air-con running non-stop for 7D6N.
Reports predict haze condition to stay for a prolonged period.
Indonesia just one press conference away from declaring a state of emergency.
New parent succumbs to spouse and peer influence.
Invests in air purifier.

(Source: https://poiema.com.sg/product/premium-500)

Pros:

• No filters
• No Motor Fans
• Ultra Silent
• Zero maintenance cost
• Low Energy Consumption
• Indoor PSI indicator
• Be able to operate 24/7

Cons:

- No humidifier

- More expensive than my air ticket to Europe

Justification:

• Value for money
• Much convenience and hassle free (due to no maintenance required)
• Ideal for baby room (quiet, non ionizer)
• Can be used for many years - cost will breakeven after 4 years (based on happymums review)
• Prevention better than cure 

Further consolation:

- Timed purchase with a 10% discount online coupon 

- Accumulated online reward points for future purchases

- Credit card 5% cashback...

No more dining at restaurants for xxx months. kkthxbye.

Confinement ends

So today marks the end of wifey's confinement! 28 days of nutrient rich, yummy confinement food, daily herbal bath, longan dates drinks and minimized contact with water.

We bade farewell to Fang Jie, our CL, with immense gratitude. On her first day she has already impressed us with her experience and updated knowledge, so much so that we felt baby could be entrusted fully under her 24/7 watch.

So on Fang Jie's last day, we gave her our printed group photo as a little momento. She looked pleased to receive it. It is a small gift but our intention is to let her know that we greatly appreciate her help. Being a CL is a noble trade but comes with definite personal sacrifices; Fang Jie's noticeably humped back and wrinkled fingers tell stories of numerous babies she has well brought up and mommies she has nursed to health.

All the best of health, Fang Jie!

Random pic

When's the last time you did something crazy?

Spot the similarity

Our precious little one - the Welcoming!

It was 1.30am on 12 September 2015 (Saturday morning/Friday night). Wifey was glued to the TV watching the live telecast of the results of GE2015. Results of most GRC/SMC have been announced with clear winners, and perhaps every citizen still awake at this time was impatiently anticipating the results of Aljunied GRC. Sampling hinted that WP edged PAP by only a few % (52% vs 48%). After all the votes were accounted for, the difference between the 2 parties was so small and PAP requested for a recount. I was bored and thought I would turn in, as the results would be all over the press and social media first thing in the morning tomorrow when I wake up. So I said to wifey, "eh, go sleep liao leh, sleep more when we still can!"

Wifey declined as she wasn't sleepy yet (had a nap earlier). So I went to bed first.

----

Half awake in my slumber -
/hears wifey switching on the bedroom a/c and closing door

Some time later, wifey's groans woke me up. I glanced at my bedside clock. 5.38am. Wifey was lying on her side, curled up and clutching her tummy, complaining of great pain.

We weren't really shocked and at a loss - as wifey experienced similar pains for the first time, about 2 weeks ago, also in the wee hours. Reading up had helped - during that incident, we timed the duration of the dips in between the pains and felt it resembled Braxton Hicks aka 'false contractions'. So it turned out that the pains diminished after 15 mins and we confirmed it wasn't labour yet, and we returned to sleep.

So on this morning we did the same and timed the contractions. They came every 5 mins. After one cycle dwindled, I advised wifey to change and we'll head to the hospital, to be safe. We grabbed our ready-to-go pre-packed tote bag and made our way to TMC.

Baby was 39 weeks.

Heng ah, it was like 6am of Saturday morning and there were hardly any vehicles on PIE - we reached TMC in no time. I mentioned to the receptionist that wifey was in labour and they brought a wheelchair over.

Wifey was checked in into the observation room, The nurse examined and claimed wifey was 8cm dilated. 8cm? My first thought was - cannot be so fast leh, you don't want us to opt for epidural issit... nurse prepared wifey while I headed to the counter to do registration. It wasn't more than 10 minutes when I returned to the observation ward, and to my surprise the room was empty - wifey had been forwarded to the delivery ward!!!

Her contractions were now more frequent and intensity increased with time. Everytime the pain rose, wifey used the oxygen mask to relieve the pains -well, if it worked somewhat. I could tell the pain was highly unbearable - her body twitched in response to the tightening of muscles. Her hands grabbed the side of the bed so tightly her hands shivered. It may sound exaggerating but the look of desperation resembled a drug addict trying to wean off drug. I felt so helpless? I imagined the most intense pain I had ever in my life and it was when I had food poisoning at Phuket - it was already extremely, extremely painful for me. But I think wifey was going through much much worse, her friend Hannah who delivered recently described the intensity as menstrual pain x 1000 haha. In fact, it was so tormenting Hannah asked her gynae to forget about natural and just carry on with C-sec.

After n torturous contractions, fist clenching and teeth biting, a nurse finally entered. She checked and claimed the dilation was 8.5cm. She then said very calmly to us, "Okay I am going to call the gynae now," and in my mind I was like WHAT, YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!

The clock ticked so slowly whenever contractions came. The torment lasted for about a minute each, and there were only about 2 minutes in between during which I egged wifey on mentally and urged wifey to recharge.

It wasn't long before our gynae, Dr Wong HF, stepped in. I tell you, his presence was so welcomed... the feeling is like you are stuck in an stressful meeting with your demanding customers who seem to be holding you at gunpoint when suddenly the meeting room door opens and your boss enters the meeting LIKE A BOSS. You get me?! Haha.

He and the nurses propped up her legs and did further checks. Try pushing, he said. It was to no avail. Dr Wong said the baby has not 'come down' and that she's not ready, yet. The water bag has not burst also.

"Use the contractions pain and push," he advised. "Don't fight the pain and tense your muscles as it will only make you lose energy." Dr Wong proceeded to instruct the nurses to put wifey on 30ml drip. Wiping his hands dry and removing the gown, he continued in a most nonchalant tone, "I'll come back later."

....... ermm we newbies leh what do we do now?

The nurses did not linger in the room and left us to be, I assumed it was because there were two other deliveries happening beside our room at the same time. Just about this time, wifey said to me that she could feel the pushing feeling (is there a term for this?). Okay that's some progress... Alas, the contraction pains increased in intensity and wifey couldn't tahan anymore, said she wants epidural. I encouraged her to go au natural but after the next few contractions and seeing her in such excruciating pain and agony, I gave in.

I asked the nurse to administer epi.

"Sir, she's already 9cm, baby already coming out, epidural may not work," explained the nurse. "Besides, it may take more than 30 mins for the doctor (anaesthetist) to come. If by the time the baby has come out, you still need to pay for it (epi) anyway."

HIIIIIIIIEEEEKKKKKKK, the oxygen mask went along with wifey's deep breathing. Wifey was breathing into it like her life depended on it.

We will pay for it regardless, I iterated to the nurse firmly. The nurse succumbed to our pleas. Just as I thought she would start to prepare the dosage, she handed over a piece of pink paper, "Please read and sign this."

It was an indemnity form.

KNNOMGBBQWTF??!! How in the world do you expect a delivering mother to read logically and understand sensibly and actually HOLD A PEN AND SIGN on top of a line?!

I questioned, "MUST SHE READ THIS?!"

"You can read out to her."

..........

FINE. And so I did. The liabilities and indemnities filled up half an A4 paper. I mumbled through the sentences that can be summarised to "na I tell you first ah these are the possible consequences, if anything happen don't say I never say ah!" I was not sure wifey could even hear me amidst the heavy reverberating of the oxygen mask. I am more convinced she was in no state of mind to listen, let only comprehend.

(afternote: I understand you can sign the indemnity form sooner, like as soon as when you're expecting.)

Before I could finish verbalising the indemnities, suddenly the room door swung open. BOSS stepped in. Yayyyy, give us some good news!!

Hmm Boss not very friendly. He looked more serious than the first time he stepped in. Like THIS MEANS BUSINESS. Washed his hands, donned the surgical apron and gloves. Instructed the nurses.

Try to push, he said.

And so wifey did.

We remembered Wong Boh Boi's prenatal lessons on how to deliver a productive push. Chin to chest, lean slightly forward, husband to support mother's back - this will channel the most energy to the required muscles. No screaming or cursing your husband, she had forewarned. Wifey gave another couple of pushes.

Can see the hair already, one of the nurses gestured. So fast?

Now, the sight of blood does not usually freak me out but before today, I had already prepared myself that during delivery, I will stay beside wifey and will prefer not to view the awakening from Dr's POV. Have heard of a friend who watched in full blossom and another who even video-ed the process of the birth of his son. WHAT THE... So anyway, I imagined my baby's crowning and some hair but I'm fine with where I am, thank you very much haha.

Guiding wifey along with a few more pushes, I was preparing mentally for the Dr or nurses to shout "STOPPP!" During one of the prenatal class, Wong BB made sure to run through this drill a few times to make sure it was instilled in the dads and moms' memory. When you hear the instruction to stop, it will mean that 3/4 of the baby's head has emerged. Immediately, daddy has to remind mommy to change the breathing method from 'deep' to 'shallow' (pant pant pant). A very vital instruction to stop mommy from pushing - it may lead to severe tear of the opening of the orifice (can you tell I'm trying v hard to not sound gross) and the baby will 'fly' out! At this juncture, Dr will have very little time to check if the umbilical cord is in the way of the final push, and act quickly. If not done speedily, it could lead to suffocation.

And so I was waiting for the golden word (STOP) but it never came. Instead, they shouted "wait wait wait". Hmmm... What do I make of this.... But Dr and nurses seemed to suddenly focus on doing something down there so I tapped wifey, "okay, pant pant pant." Wifey followed - not sure it was because she heard me or because she was tired from the previous pushes, haha.

I think I was right - wait wait wait was the golden instruction. Dr said calmly (gosh how they manage to stay so calm) that baby must not stay in this position for too long, push again. Thus, I supported wifey's back and guided her to push again. Two pushes later, Dr stood up and placed a soiled, squealing being on wifey's stomach.

I WOULD NEVER EVER FORGET THIS SIGHT. Awww little baby! She was small. Had some hair on her head. Big eyes. Little one was wailing in cutesy gasps, finding herself foreign, unfamiliar and insecure. Her head was surprisingly tilted upwards, in the direction of mommy. Her big eyes were fixated intently on mommy, seeming to express "hello mommy, I'm out!" =)

I teared. Won't deny that this was a most touching sight - my feelings were a saturation of overjoy, ecstacy, gratification and relief! =)))) I hugged wifey, who looked super exhausted now. Look at baby, she's looking at you! Wifey mustered a smile and said she was so spent, she couldn't even move her neck. You've done so well! =)

Dr motioned for me to cut the umbilical cord. I took over the scissors and snipped it. It took just one second and I backed off nervously. Sorry, not interested to observe what will be done next and after, haha...

---

Still crying in cute short gasps, little one was picked up by the nurse and carried over to a preparation pad. It had a heating element hanging overhead and a real-time body temperature monitoring system.

The nurse cleaned baby up while I snapped many photos of this amazing creature lying in front of me, its eyes squinted and moving its limbs curiously. It was a peculiar feeling - she felt unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time. 9 months of talking to her through a round tummy and out of a sudden, 2D ultrasound printouts are transformed into a wailing, heart-beating, limbs-extending baby!

Amazing, amazed, amazement!!!

----

Wifey was admitted 6.30am and successfully delivered baby two hours later. Compared to most first timers (Joanne Peh had a 16 hour labour, for the record), wifey's ordeal is considered damn fast. What could have contributed to the quick delivery?

Wifey's pregnancy regime:
- Fortnightly swim
- Young coconut juice every 3 days during the last trimester
- 3 squats on the eve

Well, nothing extraordinary... perhaps we were blessed :)

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By default, our next two nights were spent in TMC. We opted for a single bed room to enjoy the privacy and also because I could spend the night there too. The room was well furbished and comfortable; meals were delectable and variety of TV programmes were more than sufficient to keep us occupied. But I have to save the best praises for the team of nurses at TMC who were patient, polite and served us with genuine care and provided us newbies much needed advice on newborn care. To name a few who deserve a huge pat on their back:

- Elle (staff nurse at delivery ward)
- Yusia
- Carol
- Stella

Thank you so much!

=)

Here's baby at day 3, in her bedroom where she'll  ive strong, grow healthy and share happy memories for a long time :)

a 4-day old new dad

At T-1 week:

• Prepping the nursery - tick
• Attending theory and practical lessons - tick
• Reading up the generous sharings by interest groups - tick
• Buying waterproof cot protector, bath tub, miscellaneous items - tick
• Booking confinement nanny and 'jamu' masseur - tick

-

Then baby arrived! 

Hi mommy, I feel clean now after changing nappy, hehe

Prior, we thought we were ready and just playing the waiting game. But when baby is finally in our arms... we felt so helpless! Unfamiliar with how to handle/carry a newborn - how to change diapers - how to swaddle - how to latch on - the list goes on. It feels as if you have studied all the theory but suddenly when you find yourself needing to hands-on in a chemistry lab - and the theory comes to naught. Fortunately, TMC offers really great service and child care. The newborns are placed in a nursery where general care and injections are given, and they are brought over to their mommies every 3 hours for feeding. When you are done, just press the red button and the nurse will return the newborns to the nursery. No worries about shower, dirty nappy or crying baby! XD

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We stayed in hospital for 2 nights. Meals were served. Bedsheets were changed. Bathroom was cleaned. Heck, there was even HBO HD on TV. I joked that actually the stay feels like a staycation! However on the day of discharge, we felt like we were thrown into the ocean to survive by ourselves. Who's gonna change dirty nappies? Shower her? Coax crying baby? Do we figure out bf all by ourselves? 

Fortunately, we had hired a CL. She was of such great help we felt baby will be in very good hands. PHEW~~ we need more transition time, less steep learning curve.

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Friends who advise you to attend all the lessons on prenatal, delivery and childcare you can. However, I feel that the majority of the content focuses on what the mother should do, what to expect, how to care for the kid. The education lacks emphasis on the other parent aka dad... here are my humble Paternal tips, from a 4-day old new dad:

1. Be a pillar of strength for your wife, both physically and mentally

Your wife is extremely exhausted. Immensely. Imagine being in labour for so long and going through all the torment and excruciating pain for HOURS? After delivery, she needs to minimize activity and rest in bed. Feeding baby every 3 hours (if on bf) is definitely be physically taxing and draining for her. Undesired post-natal blues may kick in and add on to mommy's stress and depression. 

During this time, as a new dad you need to be the brains, hands and legs for 3. 

Think of what you need to do and plan ahead, so you don't get flustered when things happen. Be a SNAG. Be sensitive and provide emotional support towards your wife. She will be struggling with latching, and may even find routine tasks like walking and bowel movements challenging. Assure she is doing great job, hug her often, offer to run errands. Be a pillar of support so your wife knows you are reliable and can be counted on. Offer her massages for her shoulders and arms and she will appreciate you more :)

So, keep yourself healthy and fit. I took Vit C supplements almost daily for the last 6 months and I must say the immunity boost really helped.

WARNING: Do not comment negatively on your wife's physical appearance/figure or how haggard she may look.

2. Book CL and Jamu masseur early

Side tip - know your acronyms and technical jargons =)

CL - Confinement Lady
Jamu - Traditional Malay massage (said to help mom detox and regain figure)
LC - Lactation Consultant
Bf - Breastfeed
EDD - Expected Delivery Date
Episiotomy, epidural, mucus plug, colostrum, etc etc.

Please, please book your CL and jamu early. That's of course if you have decided on hiring their services. I booked my CL about 6 months in advance and jamu about 3. You may book the latter later as jamu typically lasts for 7-10 days and hence the availability of jamu may be more flexible.

CL

I am all hands up for getting a CL. A full time CL. If your mom or in-law wants to help, make sure they are full time and not part time basis. Reason is because as new parents, you have a very steep learning curve and you definitely need a lao jiao to hands on.

You can opt for word of mouth, friend recommendations or forums; or if you are more kiasee, you can always go for more professional and credible CL via establishments and agencies like Thomson Medical and PEM. Freelancers are more affordable (based on 3 quotations for 2015, it is $2,500 for 28 days). Most are Malaysian aunties in their 40s or 50s.

How to decide whether the CL is for you:

- What is included in their scope of work? Does she do night feed, cooking for dad included, washing of whose clothes? Better ones are those who will sleep with baby in the same room and only brings baby to mommy if baby is hungry.
- Pro bf or pro formula? If you decide to bf, you may not like it if CL keeps discouraging you against it.
- Years of experience
- Converse over the phone with her. Like an interview, you can get quite a good sense of the person when you are in a conversation with her. Of course, do an online search to look out for other's opinions, past history and whether the CL has any quirks or habits.

Side tips:
- Once you confirm with the CL, she may ask for a 20% deposit. If you don't, they are likely to take up another sincere offer - you will then have to face a last minute rush to engage another CL
- Bet you didn't know - a Work Permit is required to engage the services of a CL. Apply for one via MOM website (pre-requisites apply).
- Take note that Malaysians are not allowed to stay for extended periods in Sg. They have a 60/90 day rule which states they must be in M'sia for not less than 1 month within a 3-month period (please correct me if I am wrong). This may disrupt their schedule. Clarify with them when it is nearer your baby's EDD so you avoid any inconvenience (bet you didn't know v.2).

Jamu masseur

The malay lady will do a house vist and massage mommy's tummy area with medicine/herbs. Each session is about an hour to an hour half. Thereafter, mommy will be wrapped up tightly in an oily film, and is expected to wear it for an extended duration (e.g. half a day?). The tightness is said to help the womb recover, for the body to absorb the herbs and firm up the tummy area. Medical professionals advise that jamu is not necessary but if you do, only engage reliable masseurs. And heed that their medicine are not clinically proven and must not be ingested.

I engaged mine via my friend's, JX, recommendation. That JX has regained her figure quite quickly is the best living testimony!

3. Be prepared to spend - more than you expect

As soon as you are planning for a baby, you may begin researching for recommended gynae, hospital charges, room rates and doctor's fees. The comparison of every G and private hospitals can be readily found online. Undoubtedly, G is more affordable but the belief is that private doctors offer more personalized and professional help. As a guide, for natural birth and default two-night stay at TMC, our bill amounted to about $6k+. Epidural will cost about $800 more. Fortunately, you may use Medisave to reduce the total bill by up to $2k.

A list of the huge ticket items:
- Hospital bill = $7,000 (before Medisave of $2k) (may go up to $10-$12k if Caesarean delivery is required)
- CL = $2,500
- Jamu = $500-$700
- Stroller = $200-$400
- Car baby seat = $100-$200
- Baby cot = $400
- Breast pump, sterilizer, milk bottles etc = $350
- Confinement food for 28 days = $1,200-$1,800
- Disposables and miscellaneous (diapers, rash cream, extra swaddling blankets, baby shampoo etc) = $????

Have not added in future possible costs like post delivery check ups, paediatrician fees, medical bills, insurance costs etc. Due to confinement and additional occupant, expect your water and electricity bills to spike in the first month.

Edit: Asian babies are more prone to jaundice. For a 3d2n treatment, there are 2 options available. Hospitalization at a private hospital will cost $1,800 whilst rental of the Blilbeds (with UV rays) cost $500.

Side tip: For payment of hospital bill, scheme and use the best credit card that gives you the best rebates/cashback/air miles. The returns may be substantial. Before delivery, ensure your credit card has a high credit limit; else call in to request beforehand.

Side tip 2: Free diaper samples can be requested online!

4. Expect differing opinions, manage expectations

Birth of a newborn - cute as a kitten, tiny as a tinkerbell. Naturally, your parents and in-laws will be super duper excited, especially if it's their first grandchild. What follows is that all of them including yourself will want the best care for the newborn and mommy... with differing views and opinions on carrying a baby, jaundice treatment, type of confinement food, confinement dos and donts... Haha, not to forget your CL will instill her own set of proven practices as well! More often than not, they will be vastly different from the theory you picked up from antenatal lessons you paid a hundred $ for.

I would suggest to be open-minded and adopt a flexible mindset haha... for myself I opt to trust my CL. The less you know, the better haha. It's the CL's rice bowl and she has brought up so many babies as a matter of fact; so even if some practices are not 'by right', they won't be detrimental la... as the hokkien saying goes, lap sap jiak, lak sap tua.

Lastly, manage the expectations of your parents and in-laws, ask for their understanding and trust. That said, you and your siblings were brought up well by your parents anyway; listen to their hand-me-down tips and you may be surprised they can be very valuable!

5. Leave your full time job aside

Refer to point 1. When you are the brains, hands and legs for 3, the last thing you want on your mind is to be bogged down by work emails and calls. Ask your colls for help, delegate tasks. Else, work can always wait. Right?


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Hope you found the above tips handy! =)

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Next post - the arrival of our baby!!

Tips on giving appraisal

Tips on giving appraisal

• Establish an informal, unhurried atmosphere
• Praise and encourage
• Probe and listen
• Give time to talk
• Focus on performance, not personality
• Use positive language
• Encourage self appraisal
• No surprises
• Structure the interview

o   Rapport building

o   Opening the discussion

o   Performance areas

o   Themes and conclusions

o   Training/development

o   Actions

o   Is the appraise satisfied

o   Focus on the facts

• Agree measurable target
• Set review dates

Week -5

This was our first glimpse of baby, in January. Baby was just over a month old and measured 12.2mm.

And baby is at 35 weeks now and weighing 2.4kg, and roughly the size of a canary melon (as adorably described by the app). Baby is pretty active, moving much and at times causing discomfort to mommy when she presses on her bladder. Since last week, mommy finally succumbed to drinking coffee after like 8 months (claps claps) and the caffeine explicably results in more activity from baby, haha.

We learnt from Wong Boh Boi’s classes to speak in proper words and sentences to babies as they are able to understand. On the other hand, baby language e.g. goo-goo and gaa-gaa does not communicate. Research confirms that babies are very sensitive to sounds and are even able to recognise voices and clanging of keys, Dr. Wong advised parents should talk to baby about our day on top of wishing good morning and good night.

So in order to guide baby to full-term of 40 weeks, we have been rather diligently feeding mommy with young coconut juice every 3 days. Heard from other moms yesterday that coconut juice also helps to cleanse the placenta so baby will come out ‘cleaner’. Mommy and baby gets the benefits while daddy gets to eat the sweet meat, so why not heheh. But we need to prepare ourselves for delivery at 38 weeks as it is a very common timeline. Just need to spruce up the nursery a lil’ bit and we’re good J

Hmm as new parents we certainly will miss our peaceful times in our cosy home and spontaneous outings, but we are also looking forward to welcoming a cutie baby to take care of. We pray that our baby will have a manageable temperament, like not waking up so often at night, able to sleep with light environmental sounds and have a chirpy nature. We'll take good care of baby and please allow daddy and mommy some social and rewinding time as well kk…

We’ll see you in a few weeks, Ying Xi. J Grow well and be healthy!

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Here's sharing some massage techniques:

Arm and hand massage:
1) Indian massage up, indian massage down
2) Swedish massage up, Swedish massage down
3) Rolling pin
4) Y-shape palm press

5) Grab finger, wriggle and pull
6) Flat press on nail
7) Side press on nail
8) Fingers interlocked, wriggle and pull
9) Rotate shoulders

Back massage:
1) Neck hairline press
2) Move down 8 to 2 inches below shoulder blade, 2 inches apart. Press. Knead.
3) Upper arm press
4) Thumb down the spine to pelvic line. Press to relieve backache

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Whatsapp etiquette

I find it frustrating, infuriating sometimes, when members of a whatsapp group chat stay silent and do not even respond to (repeated) requests for gatherings.

Hello, everyone is busy, do you mean you can't find 2 mins during your daily commute to glance through the messages?

Even if you are not interested, I think the other active members will know your unwillingness if you reply something like "sorry got sth on, u guys pls go ahead with ur plans". It's ok, we will really just go ahead, no offence will be taken.

7 Letters & Qing Ming

Thanks to my colleague Guo Jun, wifey and I were honoured to be audience of the premiere screening of ‘7 Letters’, an anthology of 7 short films, features 7 of Singapore’s most acclaimed directors Boo Junfeng, Eric Khoo, K Rajagopal, Jack Neo, Tan Pin Pin, Royston Tan, and Kelvin Tong. The films revolve around the theme of “Home” and what “Home” means to each director as they interpret it in their individual stories. 7 letters is the first film to open at the newly refurbished Capitol Theatre. It was to be our virgin steps into the building too.

(you can read more about the individual films here: https://sg.news.yahoo.com/7-letters-most-visual-gift-030152258.html)

I love that immediately after you walk in from the main entrance of the building, you find yourself in a huge, high ceiling atrium that is well lit and ventilated. Atas restaurants and cafes are the only retail choices. Amidst the bright LED lights and fanciful deco stands the beautiful entrance of the theatre – with a porch, neon signboard and interior lit by warm yellow hue – reminds me of the many theatre entrances we came across in London.

We were ushered to the top tier and were pleasantly surprised by the architecture of the theatre. Majestic white horses lined both high walls and a well carved dome with cove lighting capped the roof. Though the Capitol Theatre is operated by Golden Village, this theatre was set up more like one befitting of musicals and plays, much to our awe and comfort.

The last film titled "GPS" directed by Kelvin Tong, is a heart wrenching story depicting a modern day family travelling to the cemetery to pay respects during the Qing Ming festival. This story resonated most with me as I could relate closely to my personal experiences...

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My paternal relatives usually pay our annual Qing Ming respects in late March or early April. We will drive up to Grandma’s house at Rengam and have a hearty breakfast together – mom would contribute home-made cake/bread/yam cake whilst my youngest uncle will bring big bao. He would also pack roast pork or duck that will be offered to our ancestors later. After breakfast and armed with huge straw hats and umbrellas (hmm why have we never needed mosquito repellent?), we will embark on a 15-20 minutes’ walk to the top of the hill where the graves serenely lie. Qing Ming is a more enjoyable occasion if more cousins come along, as there will be more laughter and conversations and the chores can be better shared.

The cemetery is relatively untouched and isn't a well maintained one – the entrance is a narrow sandy road shared by pedestrians and cars and motorcycles. There is no tarmac to walk on, no amenities nor information counter. My younger Uncle will pay a token to the ‘caretaker’ of the cemetery (who sits in a makeshift shelter by the way) as a formality. From there, it is about 5-8 mins of walking along the aisle of the tombs, negotiating the path littered with stones, gravel and semi-decayed branches, to our first stop – the graves of our paternal great grandparents.

This is no columbarium; it is a cemetery of graves that has stood and weathered many decades. There are no conspicuous landmarks or locality map that leads us or shows us the exact location. “Walk straight to that tree”, as the grandma directed in Kelvin Tong’s film “GPS”, is a similar instruction we take heed. There aren’t many trees anyway – however I am not able to describe the tree too – I can only point it out to you when I am physically standing there haha. For myself, I confirm the location with the bearing of the satellite tower to my right. Triple confirm it with the names scribed onto the tombstones. Hello, my great grandparents.

My great grandparents originated from shui kou (水口) village, He Shan (鹤山) city, Guangdong Province, China. They moved to Malaya permanently and settled down in Rengam in 1938. Great grandfather passed away at 58 years old and his partner at 52.

The rituals we would perform (the same for every grave) are:

i)              Light candles for 土地公 aka the Earth God – to thank him for taking good care of the land, literally

ii)             Lay out the food and wine for ancestors

iii)            Light big candles x 2 and place them in the pit.

iv)           Light joss sticks. Place x3 in the pit and the remaining sparingly around the perimeter of the grave

v)            Burn offerings

vi)           Wait for offerings to completely burn (a symbolic representation that ancestors have ‘received’ the gifts and are ‘done with the food’)

vii)          Pay respects and say our prayers

viii)         Pour the wine onto the ground

ix)           Pack up and done

The above rituals may not be most traditional and done correctly and admittedly, have watered down over the decades. I recall that the offerings used to be more generous in size, like big structural bungalows (never seen the usual suspects e.g. Mercedes cars and maids in pony-tail, though). There was a bigger variety of food and also more types and colours of papers to be burnt. Well, I can give two easy explanations for the apparent simplicity it has become now – one is that sincerity counts more and the other, technology has since advanced to internet and soft-copies, hahaha...

After paying respects to my great grandparents, we would continue to my paternal grandfather’s grave. Again, there are no map or directional signs. I only know it is a downhill walk, past the road, downhill again and slightly to the left? Need to follow my uncle for this… Once we reach my grandfather’s tomb, one will immediately notice its black polished tombstone (is it marble?) and tiled flooring. The tomb looks slightly classier as compared to its neighbours, probably because my grandfather was a well-to-do businessman.

/performs rituals as above

I have vague memory of my grandfather as he passed on when I was 3+ years old. Testimonials from my parents and uncles confirmed that he was a very stern and strict disciplinarian with a high sense of responsibility. Born in 1921, my grandfather is the eldest of 6 siblings. Not only did he take the role of provider after both parents had passed away, he coached his children in their studies. Auntie WP boasted that all of them topped their level at least once in their primary school. My grandfather had astute foresight as well – recognising that a convenience store in a small town draws in limited profits, he made a daring switch to agriculture. He laboured for several years in his acres of rubber plantation before his venture finally bore fruit. Owing to grandfather’s toil and hardwork, my dad and his siblings benefited from the better quality of life and opportunities for higher education. Alas, grandfather was a heavy smoker and succumbed to lung cancer at 67 years old.

After we finish paying respects to grandfather, the rest of us will head uphill to my uncle’s grave whilst my mom will detour to pay respects to my maternal grandparents. My deceased uncle passed away at a very, very young age (can’t remember exactly… younger than 5?) and interestingly at his grave, the usual offerings of roast chicken and wine are substituted with colourful biscuits and titbits. 

When all is done, we double up home before the midday sun strikes. Cold drinks and sweet juicy watermelon are very welcomed as we take turns to shower. All of us will then enjoy a satiable lunch at a comfortable restaurant, catching up, sharing stories and laughter.

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I appreciate Chinese traditions like Qing Ming festival thus Kelvin Tong’s film struck a chord in me. In addition to respecting religious customs, his film serves as a reminder to appreciate the presence of our family members amidst our busy schedule… every week a family goes through a repeat of appointments – parents need to work while children attend school and swimming/CCA lessons and meet friends – when we finally gather, even if it’s a half-day affair of visiting the cemetery, do cherish the time together!

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Ending this post with a picture with Royston Tan, the man behind 7 letters! On the left is Boo Junfeng. Good thing we were dressed appropriately for the event...